What causes some friendships to work, and some not to? It's a tricky thing, to share wonderful memories with someone, and then not have them a part of your life later. I know life gets in the way, people move, some people aren't great at communicating and keeping in touch, people get busy with work, school, kids, and some with all of the above.
I have thought a lot about these things lately. Maybe it is because Nathan and I have been discussing our wedding party (we want an even number or bridesmaids/groomsman), maybe it's because one of my dearest friends is currently living abroad and is in a completely different time zone and we either speak early in the morning or late at night (yet we still speak almost every day), maybe it's because I have become annoyed with the lack of effort from other friends. There are some people I thought would always be there, until they are not.
Okay maybe this has more to do with sentimentality and loyalty than anything else. I like to think I am a loyal friend, unless of course I feel betrayed. I always give second chances, sometimes third and fourth chances if the friendship means that much to me.
In truth I have a special place in my heart for every person who has touched my life, and been an intricate part of my journey. I sometimes wish I could gather those people in my life and just let the memories and emotions flood the room and engulf my emotions and senses.
And now here I am examining these relationships, in a position to choose who will stand with me on one of the most important days of my life, getting married, and it makes me feel a bit frazzled to be honest.
My friendships now are far different than they were five years ago, or ten years ago. Yet my friendships now are easier. There are some that have longevity, some that have grown from mutual circumstance (but are treasured none the less), some that are still growing. I may not speak daily to all of these friends, or even weekly at some points, but they fall right in step, and there is no awkwardness in the absence.
So what would you do? Would you choose your bridesmaids based on history, or based on your current life and status? Opinions?
1 comment:
What a funny person to answer this question. :P All kidding aside. I was honored to have you as my maid of honor. You were such an important part of my life for so long, and you were really the catalyst for Peter and I getting together, how could I not have you be there?
I know our friendship has changed drastically thru the years, but I would sincerely hope that if truly the shit were to totally hit the fan for either one of us, we would help each other out.
That all being said, I think the people that you want to be in your wedding party are going to be those that will support you and your marriage down the road. Those are the people you want standing along side of you on your day. Don't get caught up in I've been friends with this person longer, blah, blah, blah. I know I have friends that I've known for 3 years who are so much closer than those I've known for 10. You should choose the people who are supportive of you, your children, and ultimately your marriage. Don't succomb to the pressure of others or what you think you SHOULD do. Do whatever the hell you want, and eff everyone else. I know, how sentimental, right?
I'm now stepping off the soapbox now.
Post a Comment