The San Francisco Treat

Ah San Francisco. You were a whirlwind of fun and activity. Here is my trip, in a time line, because folks, it was so packed, that is the best way to give it to you.

Friday August 13, 2010 1:00pm: Get to my mom's house. Eat pizza. First real meal I have eaten in two days. Get horrible anxiety.

1:30pm: arrive at Logan Express terminal. Cry to an old Chinese man on the bus about leaving the kids and my fear of flying. He is oddly comforting.

1:45pm: arrive at airport. Debate taking my anti-anxiety meds after I throw up all of the pizza I just consumed. Convince myself to wait a little longer.

2:45pm: Spot Honest Tea Just a Tad Sweet in the kiosk by terminal. Decide that is a sign from above to take my anti-anxiety pill. Thank Leah and Victoria for keeping up with my neurotic text messages for the past couple of hours.

3:00pm: Leave Boston

4:40 pm: Land in NYC, rush to new gate, boarding has just begun. Call mom, Brody is crying. I cry.
5:00pm: Depart NYC. Try to sleep. Can't sleep. Can't stop looking at the man or woman across the aisle from me. At first glance I thought it was a woman, but since then I have noticed the body hair covering the person, and the definite man feet, but with nail polish. I am too confused to sleep.

9:04pm Pacific time: Land in San Francisco. Rush to nearest airport bathroom. Suffering from intense migraine. Get changed into rehearsal dinner clothes and pray for migraine to go away.
9:15pm: Wait in cold for taxi. Think about how strange it is to be cold. Thank God I brought a light jacket.

10:00pm: Get to rehearsal dinner. Missed the dinner. Happy to see Nathan and everyone else. Decide to chug water to help ease migraine, which has already started to fade. Decide the plane rides were to blame.











Midnight: Leave rehearsal dinner spot, tell Nathan I am famished. Spot a hole in the wall Mexican joint that advertises best vegetarian burritos in San Fran. SCORE! It is heaven in my mouth. I toss the tortilla chips and salsa though because I was a bit scared of how my stomach would react. Head to The Elbow Room (a bar) for after rehearsal dinner party. (I do not know why this is underlined and give up on trying to fix it.)


Saturday August 14, 2010 2:00am: Arrive in apartment rented for the stay. It's really cute. Climb into bed. Wonder how the kids are.

7:13am: Wake up. Immediately call the kids. They are all doing great. Keira has done exceptionally well. I feel instantly better and awake and ready to start the day. Nathan decides to sleep a bit longer. I take a shower, and wake up Meryl.

9:30am: Meryl and I do some last minute things for the wedding. Iron the table runners.

11:00am: Do some sight seeing. We have limited time, but want to buy the kids a gift and I have convinced everyone that I will die without eating In N Out. We go to Fisherman's Wharf, walk around, buy necklaces for the kids, Nathan gets stopped by a man who gives him a sticker for not smiling, see Alcatraz, see the sea lions, Nathan gets pooped on by a sea gull, we eat In N Out (grilled cheese animal style and fries for me, which is a grilled cheese with all the stuff they put on a burger... still no meat) sun comes out, we head back to apt to get ready for wedding.










2:00pm: Walk to Safeway with Meryl and Kim for some wine, champagne, OJ, and some other little things. We stayed right outside the Castro area of San Fran. It is really cool walking around.

3:00pm: My maturity level has dropped quickly. I make Meryl stand in the middle of the street to pose for a picture. We then take turns looking like drunk bums with our wine/champagne wrapped in paper bags. Classy. Head inside to get ready, help each other do our hair, and drink mimosas.



4:45pm: Head to wedding site (Swedish American Hall) It is walking distance. Thank god Kim brought flip flops. Paris Hilton, your shoes are cute, but are a bitch to walk in.

5:00pm: Set up last minute stuff for wedding. Brandie arrives. Time to begin!!! So excited!
5:15pm: Make Jim, who is walking with me down the aisle, promise to walk slow. I am scared of my shoes.

5:20pm: watch Brandie walk down the aisle. She is stunning, to say the very least. This is a very cool wedding. There are freaking goldfish in the cake. Well a layer/goldfish tank in the middle of it. And lots of candy, which is always a good thing.



5:45pm: What a wedding! It was original and emotional and wonderful. Take pictures.

6:20pm: Find out I, along with the bridesmaids will be singing "Jesse" by Carly Simon in front of everyone at the wedding. Kim captures my reaction on her camera.

6:23pm: Chug current wine, Kim and Meryl instantly get me a new glass. We all decide drinking as much as possible is the answer to singing in front of everyone.

6:40pm: Wedding party is announced one at a time to songs chosen by Jesse and Brandie. We don't find out the song until we walk out. I walk out to Paparazzi by Lady Gaga (because I am an actress) I stand in front of everyone and curtsy . Wine must be kicking in.

7:00pm: Lots of fun. Groomsman and Groom sing "Brandie" to Brandie. They go first and actually do a semi good job. I think this may be do-able.

7:10pm: Bridesmaids and Bride and mother of the groom sing. I am pretty sure we make no sense. I can't even hear the music. I have no idea what part of the song we're at. I just know when the chorus comes I sing "Jesse" really loud. I laugh. We all laugh. A lot.

8 or 9pm: I have no idea what time it is. I have no idea how many glasses of wine I've had. The effects of not nursing Keira for so long have taken effect. I tell certain people (Kim, Meryl, Nathan) that I am changing my name to NWOWW (because my boobs resemble JWOWW from Jersey Shore.) I must have had more wine than I thought.

who knows pm: Who is even getting me wine? I have not gone to the bar once all night. Clearly I still remember to keep my pinky up while drinking and dancing. Always a lady.



9:50pm: I am now singing "Don't Stop Believin' by Journey into a microphone in front of everyone. Clearly I no longer care about singing in front of people. Thankfully I am not alone doing this. Brandie's sisters Cate and Liz are also singing. I am having fun. Why don't I drink? I am a fun drunk!
10 something pm: Wedding is over. We broke everything down. The San Francisco Fire House is on the walk back to the apartment. Kim thinks it's a good idea to go inside and take a picture. My inebriated brain thinks that sounds like a fantastic idea. We run when we hear voices.

11pm: There is fun crevice outside of the apartment. I think it is a fun place to take a picture. I hate Paris Hilton for making such cute unwearable shoes. I have permanent loss of feeling in two toes on each foot. I hate the saying beauty is pain.



Midnight- 3:00am: Get changed and go to Clift Hotel for the wedding afterparty. It is a cool bar/club. I decide water is the way to for the rest of the night. The loud pulse of the music makes me feel sick. I sober up surprisingly fast. I am in love with the enormous chair in the hotel. I feel like a doll, or the incredible shrinking woman. I want a large chair in my house. We stay until the bar closes. We arrive back to the apartment. Set alarms, pass out.

Sunday August 15, 2010, 7:30am: Wake up. Do last minute packing. Call taxi.

8:15am: leave for airport.

8:45am: stand next to Zooey Deschanel in security line at the airport. She is little and cute and exactly like I pictured she would be. She has on Ray Ban type sunglasses. I want a pair.

9:30am: Get yogurt and a bagel at the airport. Board plane.

10:05am: Goodbye San Francisco. It was fun.

6:09pm Eastern Time: Arrive in Boston one hour early. Wait for mom to pick us up. Can not wait to see the kids. Keira doesn't like me for about an hour. She is furious with me. It makes me sad.

8:00pm: snuggle with kids and feel grateful for them, my mom for taking good care of them, Nathan's fam for the trip, and life in general.

WHAT A TRIP!