More Photos

I mentioned in my last post that I had a photo shoot this past Sunday.  The photos are beginning to trickle in, and I could not be happier!

Here are a few to show you.


We went with a theme of recreating some wonderful older Hollywood pics, but making them modern and then just kind of going with the theme.  Example:  This Audrey Hepburn photo, and our recreation of it.

 

Here are two more.  It was such a fun shoot.  I can't wait to share more as they come in.

Days 169-172

The week has flown by.

Bye week!  I don't remember any of our conversations because you came in and then left so quickly!!!

I was officially offered the management position for the Ghost Tour job.  I am taking it.

If you have read my posts recently, you will absolutely see my internal war within about jumping back into the workforce.  I call it an internal war.  Others may call it bipolar.  Whatever.

I took my drug test (which although I am absolutely positive, there is some odd anxiety -add that to bipolar in my list of issues- that somehow someone slipped me some drug and I didn't know, and the test will come back and I will have to say, "I have no idea how that was in my system!" and I will cry and no one will believe me.)

That is what goes on in my head.  As you know by now, I am not exaggerating, these are conversations I actually have in my head.  With myself.  I am lucky if a few sentences don't slip out loud.  Then I just look like the crazy lady talking to herself down the street.

This week was spent getting things ready for Keira's second birthday party (I haven't talked about it because it makes me sad that she is turning two.), helping my friend move, running all over creations for God knows what, and spending an obscene amount of time in my car, or getting in and out of my car.

On the plus side, I made it to the gym a couple of times this week, and I weighed myself for the first time since I started the slow card life.  I was down 11 pounds in a week and a half.  That certainly made for a very happy me.  Giving up all that bread and pasta is worth it, and I do really feel a thousand times better.

I will hold off talking about Brody's speech evaluation today, because I want a complete picture first.  Basically the same stuff was said, only this time he was actually classified as having a moderate to severe speech impediment.

I feel sad about that classification, but I know how smart Brody is, and I know this won't last forever.  He will get better, slowly but surely.

That is where my mentality is right now at least.

And on that note, no pictures today, but lots to come!

Day 154

5 am workouts are a bitch.

I have a 1.7 second window where my alarm goes off and I realize it is because my super peppy, go-get-'em night time self set it at that time to get up and workout, but if that 1.7 second realization passes and I do not actually get up, I am zonked out until 7 when my next "school" alarm goes off.

I know this.

I know my brain has magic persuasive powers that make me rationalize why I don't need to exercise today, and how tomorrow would be better, or that maybe Nathan will come home before 8pm and I could go before dinner, or even if he comes home, I can go after the kids are in bed.

Oh you tricky, tricky, manipulative brain.


The thing is, if I jump up when the alarm goes off, I am actually good.  I dare say I am even awake.

So I had basically this exact monologue in my head this weekend, at the gym actually (because I was peppy, go-get-'em Nicole at the time), and when my alarm went off at 5am I momentarily thought I set it for 1 am, because that is what time it felt like (that is what time my brain wanted me to think it was at least), I shook the thought out, jumped up and left.

Just like that.

Except I peed first and brushed my teeth.

I even made things slightly easier for myself by actually sleeping in my workout clothes.  Think what you will, but getting that extra 2 minutes (okay let's be honest, it's more like ten when I just wake up and am fumbling around in the dark and my stubborn brain is refusing to communicate to my limbs how to perform simple tasks like putting my leg into my pants, and I end up hopping around, tripping over my dog and waking everyone up) to sleep more, is worth literally looking like I just rolled out of bed, because I did.

And the people who frequent the gym at 5am don't seem to care that my mascara from the day before has smudged all around my eyes, and I look like a raccoon.
On yet another tangent, I should say I really wish I was one of those women who have a nightly routine, and stand in front of the mirror, washing their face before bed, applying their nightly moisturizer, a little headband holding their hair back, talking to their husband about some important thing.  But I'm not.  When I am done for the night, I am done, and I am lucky to remember to change into pjs, and not fall asleep standing at the sink doing dishes, or in one of my kids' beds.

That is the truth.  Maybe I will adopt a nightly routine when I am thirty.

Yes, I definitely will.  Thirty sounds like a totally appropriate age to have a good nightly routine.



I think I get a lot more accomplished when I am awake that early.

And I think it makes me a better mom.

How?
Oh, well why don't I tell you!

For example, I am more apt to whip up some pancakes, maybe add chocolate chips, or blueberries.
Or some scrambled eggs and bacon.
Or french toast.

If I don't wake up early, cereal or waffles in the toaster.

See?
Better mom.  (Take that manipulative, procrastinating brain!)

I got so much laundry done, I read lots of books with the kids, I allowed Keira to convince me she had to go to the bathroom every 7 minutes (she really just has an obsession with sitting on her Dora seat), and that was okay because by 9am, I had the dishes done, the floors swept, the counters and cabinets and walls cleaned, the laundry was already in, and toys were being picked up as they were coming out.

Ladies and gentleman, maybe I found the key to life.

Or the key to my life.  I'm sure all of you are more responsible and make your children pancakes whenever they want, and have your houses clean all the time.

I bet you also drink a lot of coffee.

I don't.

I hate coffee.

Yes, I said it.  I HATE COFFEE.

And even though I like to steal a bite out of my kids munchkins every now and then, I actually hate donuts too.

I had a friend over in the afternoon, and I get as excited for adult conversation as my kids would for a trip to Disney World.


I realize I have strayed so far off what I began talking about.  That is my brain rebelling.  Getting me back for all the snide comments I have made.  It wants you to think I am crazy.

I probably am.

But yesterday was a good day.


If I was talking to you in person right now, and happened to have a microphone in my hand, I would now lean in and say "Nicole, OUT!"

Then I'd turn super dramatically, drop the mic and while walking away throw my arms up in the air, hands giving off peace signs.

Day 144

Last night Nathan and I hung out with the kids, got them into bed, and settled down with a glass of wine, ready to relax for the night.

At about 9pm, my phone alerted me to a new email.  Out of what Nathan would call a very annoying habit, I picked it up to see it was from my agency.  Earlier in the day (after my audition, which was hilarious, and if you are friends with me on facebook, you have read my posts about having to wear a figure skating costume that was made for me back in 8th grade), and immediately after getting a call about three more auditions for Monday, I got an email from the owner of my agency about submitting my info to a client for a music video shoot this weekend.  I told her that was fine, and I was available.  I didn't think much about it, because frankly, I get these emails often, and once submitted, things go to the client who goes through what is called the "pick list" (a whole bunch of photos and resumes the agency hands them) and decides who they want.

That 9pm email?  It was telling me the client chose me, and I booked the job!

This is amazing for the following reasons:

• I booked a job.
• I will be getting a paycheck.
• I have not booked a job since The Game Plan.
• My new year's resolution was to throw myself in full force, into the acting business again.
• I have been going on so many auditions, etc and have booked a job after THREE months of making that resolution.
• If you think three months is a long time, it is not, it is relatively fast.
• I get to wear pretty clothes.
• I get paid.
• Did I mention I will get a paycheck?
• I BOOKED A FREAKING JOB.

This is me.  Happy. 

Okay and a little smug.


I film Sunday night, and I couldn't be more excited.

And to those who have texted/called/sent facebook messages, and have supported me and been super encouraging and by my side, I say thank you.

Day 139 ~ Being Nicole

Recently some photos were posted on facebook from Nathan's brother Jesse, and his wife Brandie's East Coast wedding reception.
Naturally I criticized (in my head) the photos with me in them.

Here I will let you into my head so you can understand why I am such a weirdo.

I am always amazed that I have such a big mouth.  Or that I open it really widely, and animatedly when I talk.  This shouldn't be such a shock, but alas, I see this and I think it looks like I am about to eat someone's head.

Family photo with Nathan's fam.  I immediately looked at Sharon here.  I also feel slightly embarrassed that my big head is half covering Bob's face and ruining the shot.  Also, why did I feel the need to pose with my hand on my hip.  Not the red carpet Nicole, not the red carpet.  Nathan looks sufficiently awkward an uncomfortable with having his photo taken though.  That makes me laugh.  A lot.

This photo feels slightly voyeuristic.  I think I look like I was judging someone.  Or thinking in my head something not nice.  I probably was doing this.  Sometimes I am a bad person and think really bad things.  I would have to know what/who I was looking at to know and share it though.  Maybe I was looking at someone having their photo taken and posing with one hand on their hip.  Because, who would do something like THAT?  Also... boobs.

One of the most fun nights ever dancing was this night right here.  However, I will tell you I announced this night that I was going to be a millionaire by teaching fist pumping classes in gyms.  True story.  I totally announced that.  By the looks of it, I was practicing for my class.  Also, my legs look pleasantly thin, yet I have an intense urge to go to inner thigh lifts.

I love Brandie.  Also... BOOBS.  (Sorry dad.)

I am laughing a LOT at this.  I have no idea what amazing dance move I was doing, but I think it is fantastic and I intend on breaking it out all the time now.

Boobs.

Okay, I am obsessed with this one for a few reasons.  The first being, I am doing an "ugly laugh" the cousin of the "ugly cry", do you know the difference?  A pretty cry is simple, some tears, maybe a few unsteady breaths.  An ugly cry is where you can't catch your breath, your face gets blotchy and red, there may be some snot dripping out of your nose, and you usually are unable to make any sense.

Take that an apply it to laughing.  A normal laugh is a normal laugh, but then there is an ugly laugh, where you (in my case) apparently get a double chin, and you may snort a time or two, can't catch your breath, and may even pee your pants a tad bit, or a whole lot. 
Another reason? Ba-Ba-Ba-BOOBS

Anyway, now that we've cleared that up, I remember dancing and laughing this night, and the fact that there is a photo capturing a very major ugly laugh, makes me happy.  I'm pretty sure when Brandie visits next month, there will be many more ugly laughs.

Your welcome for wasting a few of your brain cells on the nonsense that floats around in my brain.

New Headshots!

Earlier this month I had the privilege of having a session with Jessica Nyiredi to get some new headshots.  Jessica has taken photos of my kids before, and truly does exceptional work.

I am happy to show you the ones I have narrowed it down to.  I will pick one shot to be my "main" shot, that I have printed with my name to bring to castings, etc.  I would love your opinion!

I wanted these shots to be a blank slate.  Minimal makeup.
Anyway, opinions are greatly appreciated.  Thank you!!!!

(And thank you to Jessica who is just brilliant, plain and simple.

Day 83~Sneak Peek

Today I had an amazing session with the very talented Jessica to get my headshots done.  She sent me this preview shot.  I am anxiously looking forward to seeing the rest of them, and will gladly share them with you.

After my headshot session, I rushed off to Ty's basketball game where as Ty said they "smoked" the other team, winning 49-25.  Ty scored eight baskets, and had a great overall game.

Today, day 83, was a good one.

Day 23 and 24

Rainy days are here again. Now if only the rain and wind would knock down the rest of the leaves so I can do a final raking and be done with it!

I have nothing life changing or really very interesting to write about.

Nothing new or exciting.

Kind of a bummer huh?

Not really what you came here for.

I've been doing a lot of cleaning, putting away, and throwing away.

I am still in shock that the holidays are breathing down my neck.
Stop doing that holidays, it really creeps me out.

Speaking of creeping me out,

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Spooky World? I don't even think it is called that anymore. Anyway, it was this big haunted everything place, haunted hayride, haunted house, etc.
I went with a bunch of my girlfriends when we were younger, maybe in middle school, or freshman? I am not one who really relishes in scare tactics. I have an overactive imagination. Even though I know it is fake, it still gets to me.
Maybe I have a super sensitive fight or flight response.
Anyway, after being tortured on the hayride, in which I am pretty sure I repeatedly kicked whatever masked person was pretending to grab my leg, and crying the rest of the way to the haunted house, I some how was convinced I could handle going through the stupid thing, which was obviously not true in the least bit.
I ended up frozen in fear, hearing my friends scream and laugh at whatever lurked around the corner, which I was positive was absolutely the death of me. Being the resourceful scaredy cat that I am, when the next normal, alive person came by I immediately grabbed them and pulled them on either side of me as my shields. These people happened to be a young couple, maybe in their twenties. They were good sports, although I am sure the girl wasn't so happy I was burying my face and screaming into her boyfriend's back. But I was shaking, and hysterical, and clearly about to have a heart attack, so they took pity on me. I did crouch in corners when I could see someone lurking in the distance, waiting for us, and pulled them right in front of me, refusing to let them leave me. Eventually they dragged me to the end.

That poor couple.

So I get creeped out fairly easily.

It is also why I am both fascinated and horrified by the show Criminal Minds. I can't stop watching, but my poor children have undoubtedly suffered from the excessive stranger danger I have learned.

And that was your lesson in the neurosis of Nicole for the day.

You're welcome for the knowledge that you are now significantly more normal than I am.

Day 18

Well today has been tough.

I have learned some things about myself though.

I have learned that when I am extremely anxious and upset I do a few things:

I highlight my hair.

I self tan.

I scrutinize my face in the mirror, looking for any flaws, and praying to see a good little blackhead so I can clean it out.

(Go ahead and be grossed out on that last one, but there are two kind of people in this world. Those who love to pop zits and those who don't. I happen to love it.)

I guess you could say I become self absorbed when I'm stressed out and anxious.

Today, while self tanning, I had a long one sided conversation with Keira, who looked at me like I was crazy the whole time.

I figure it is never too late to talk to her about the benefits of fake tans. And she's lucky she has a mom who is a pro at it. The girl will never have to go around looking striped or spotted.

I have cried my fair share today. It hasn't been puppy dogs and rainbows. I have however had a wonderful time with my kids today. They have made me smile, when smiling was hard to do.

I guess at the end of the day, I am grateful for that.

I am also grateful for great highlights, and an autumn tan and clean pores.

Oh and my house smelling delicious. I have been stewing some home made minestrone soup all day. And that folks is what I am going to serve up right now.

Okay

I will post my "daily" post later, BUT

I just thought I'd share...

I just bought everything I'll need for the next 10 days (or more, if I can hold out for more) of the Master Cleanse. I'm doing it.

Thank you extra 6lbs from steroids.

Thank you period. (sorry Dad)

Thank you still sore ankle.

You have all motivated be to finally take the plunge and stop putting this off.

And I will now have a reason to withstand the power of mini Halloween candy.

More to come in my daily, but for now, my headache is gone and I am in a good mood. Good enough to submit myself to the Master Cleanse torture. Ha!

Day 11

So I am trying to stay positive and to generally salvage this day BUT

I have a killer migraine, and have since about 15 minutes after I woke up.

There is no school today, for staff development, naturally.

It is raining, of course.

I tried, I really did. I did my best not to scream in pain any time my kids turned on a light, or ask me to get up to get them something, or talk so loudly right in my ear.

I did curse Nick Jr for playing any commercials at all, because commercials mean I turn into a jungle gym. Don't the executives there know my 18 month old will only sit still if Dora and Diego are playing non stop?

It is 1:09 pm and I am fearful that this day is lost. I am hoping there is some family movie I can get all of the kids to agree on so I can rest again. Rest until I have to get up and cook dinner with lights on and actually drive to football. Ugh the thought of all that is making my stomach turn.

This too shall pass.
It will get better.
I will not have a migraine forever.

Day 7 and Day 8

Like whoa.

Let me repeat.

Like whoa.


I recently watched an episode of Oprah and it was on multiple personalities. I am fascinated by this. She was talking to someone with 20 different personalities and was asking what it was like to not be in control, or if they were aware of the switch, and there was a discussion of how everyone experiences this to some degree, like when you are driving and go on auto pilot and realize you have no recollection of how you got to where you are.

Well, it is Sunday night and I think I have been on auto pilot for the past two days.

Not joking around here.

We have been up early, had sports each day, were rarely home, visited with family, and generally just went non stop (that is my attempt at making this short, and not boring you with all the details. Nathan says I need to get to the point sometimes, and I'm sure as you, my readers know, I can make a short story long, like this explanation for example, so I am trying this whole being concise thing. There.)

But the point is, although at times it was chaotic, and there was the fact that we were so busy that I ended up having to rush home from Boston last night to get to the grocery store before it closed, (but on a side note, I know I just promised more concise... but I did a week's worth of grocery shopping with all four kids in twenty minutes. Seven dinners, school snacks for the week, breakfasts and lunches, again with four kids, twenty minutes. That has got to be some sort of record.) SO my point, again, is that even though it was crazy, it was filled. It was not until we came home for a late dinner and bed that my legs ever stopped.

And this upcoming week? Well lets just say it is a doozy, but I'm okay with that. I am welcoming that this week.

And on a side note, with all of this running around and not being home, my house has never been cleaner.

I win.

Bitchfest 2010

Hello! Welcome to Bitchfest 2010. I am your host, Nicole.

Every part of my body aches from the massive sinus infection that has taken over my body. I am coming off of an intensely busy weekend, and have a rough week ahead of me.

Wah wah wah.

Brody is having surgery tomorrow morning and I am so paranoid that he's going to get sick. Okay, I am afraid all of the kids will get sick and I will have to juggle everyone's needs and I hate prioritizing my children. It seems cruel.

Once again I will make my call to the masses, I NEED HELP! I NEED ANOTHER ONE OF ME!

Gosh, with all the smartypants out there, you think they could take time from there search of antidotes to incurable diseases, and read my blog, and create a clone of me, or a robot personal assistant, or something.

I'm kidding.

Unless there is a smartypants out there reading this that is looking for such a side job. In that case, email me pronto, por favor.

For those of you who have had front row seats for Bitchfest, bravo, you are sure getting your money's worth!
(Okay, I'll admit that I would not be getting through it all without you select few that have checked in on me. I owe you. You know who you are.)

And as for the rest of you, who have been forced into Bitchfest against your will, well thanks for you patronage. I swear I am a happy, fun loving gal deep down, but life is literally emptying its bowels in my world right now. It's great.

Have I ever told you I am sarcastic? Some people don't like sarcasm.

In all seriousness, I know things can always get worse. I know there are many other people going through much more, and far greater difficulties. I know I am being a brat. I get it. We just have an awful lot on our plates, and there seems to be more added every day. Waking up sick was the most recent.

Until I just got interrupted writing by a phone call from Nathan telling me he had to have oral surgery tomorrow.

I couldn't make this stuff up.

And on that note, I'd like to make an official announcement that Bitchfest 2010 will be extended due to popular demand.

An Ankle Is a Terrible Thing To Waste

Hello, my name is Nicole. I am 29 years old and I fractured my ankle.
How does a 29 year old do such a thing? Well if you are me, you do it by doing absolutely nothing. One minute I was grabbing some socks so I could go for a run, the next I was on the floor rolling, unable to speak from excruciating pain. As I was rolling and writhing in pain (this went on for a good fifteen minutes) Brody and Keira took turns standing over me, staring, wide eyed and open mouthed. No complete words came out of my mouth, and if they did they were completely unintelligible.
When I was finally able to see beyond the stars and fog that were clouding my vision, I crawled over to get my phone and told Nathan. I assured him I probably just sprained it badly, and after a few minuted I'd feel better. I then called my mom and told her the same thing. After I hung up the phone, I stupidly attempted to be wonder woman and walk on it, during which time I was convinced I would never walk again, or run again, and that meant I would be a bitter, depressed, fat mother of four, who could never play sports in the yard with her children, or go for bike rides, or go hiking.
I know. Super self absorbed, but it is the honest to god truth of what I was thinking. I then called my mom back and asked her to take me to the hospital and if it wasn't too much to ask, find a way to keep Brody and Keira entertained for a bit.
I begged the nurses and doctors to get me out as quickly as possible, because this of course was happening at a time when I already feel so busy that my head may spin off at any given moment. I threatened them with taking over my schedule if they did not fix me and do it fast.
An x-ray and a doctor later I found out ligaments in my ankle pulled off the bone, and when they did this, pieces of bone got pulled off with them. This is known as an avulsion fracture. Now because I can not do anything normally, and I need to spice things up, my inner ankle fractured a larger chuck of bone and it is sitting right on top of my joint. What does this mean? Hopefully nothing. What could this mean? If this fragment moves at all, it would be into my joint which will cause very bad pain. It would have to be removed surgically.
Until then I am on crutches until I can put weight on my foot, a bandage and an air cast. In four weeks I will go back to my Orthopedic Dr and reevaluate, (new x-ray, etc) at which time we will decide what to do next.
I need to say folks, this past weekend was soccer and football debut weekend. It was also a weekend of two birthday parties, and gig via the kids' agency, and general chaos on top of all of that. I could not have done any of it without the help of my family. Nathan stepped up to the plate in a big way, my mom had a previously scheduled play date with Keira, but she also kept Ty for the day Saturday. Nathans mom took Brody and Nate saturday afternoon through sunday afternoon. I was able to basically keep my foot elevated, and let my pain medicine take effect, and trust me I needed it.
I have had so many dear friends offer their help to me, and I want to thank you all. Many of you have asked what I have needed, and I think meals are going to be the most helpful. Nathan did some basic grocery shopping for me, and his sister is going for me later this week. Football parents have generously offered to help with pick up/drop off for Ty. (Oh, because I forget to mention this is my right ankle and I can not drive.)
Anything that keeps me off my feet longer is helpful.
So thank you to those that have reached out, for those who have helped. I feel so completely blessed to have your support.
I am a control freak and like to micro manage everything. This is very difficult for me. I feel frustrated and stressed out. I am literally getting by with a little help from my family and friends.
I know this is only temporary and this too shall pass, but at the moment, it seems permanent and debilitating. I will get through it, but it will be tough.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for the best, and am willing that bone fragment to stay in place.
Until then, who has some fun ideas to make crutches cool?
And don't forget to enter to win a three pack of BrytonPicks for you and/or your family! They are amazing!

Grr

I am having a hard day. I am at least an hour behind schedule today. My kids are refusing to listen. I wish you could understand how I am feeling. I wish there was a way for me to accurately portray my frustration and emotions.
Brody has learned to lock the bathroom door. Do you know how difficult it is to reason with a two year old? To convince him to unlock a door. To hear things being taken out and tossed about and not being able to stop it? And oh when you hear water being sloshed, that's an added bonus. Super fun times.
My lovely daughter's screeching has seemed to reach an all time high today, just for some added umph to my building headache. I don't think she wants to talk. I think she enjoys the ticking of my head because the latest screech is still reverberating in my skull. Seriously y'all I am taking breaks from typing to hold my head steady because it. won't. freaking. stop ticking.
Ty and Nate decided that while I am so wrapped up in my Michael J Fox impressions (sorry, too tasteless? even as I wrote that I went oooohhh maybe not a good joke Nicole) that they would take the opportunity to pummel each other with the nearest objects within reach, and this has resulted in my house looking like a damn bomb went off. So here I am holding my head to stop the ticking and tripping over the remnants of the latest battle and trying to explain that I've had enough, but then the pterodactyl starts her screeching at just that moment, so that drowns out my voice.
H to the ELP.
Did I mention that according to Ty's football coaches, practicing while a hurricane is off the coast is a good idea. Yup, so I have that going for me tonight.
Who's bringing me the wine? If I try to go into a liquor store with my damn head ticking and wobbling while walking because I obviously have post traumatic stress from the catastrophe that is my house, I am certain they will think I am way past the point of needing alcohol. I think they would definitely classify me as being "in the red." (Thanks T.I.P.S. class!)
Also, if it were not for the fact that we have been too busy to go grocery shopping for oh... the past week and a half, I would have eaten my feelings today. I guess I should be grateful for that. What I wouldn't give for some comfort food right now. Okay, what I wouldn't give to lock myself in the bathroom (Brody does it, why can't I?) with a box of cheez-its, a bowl of ice cream (with sprinkles), some chocolate, a bottle of wine and a trashy magazine.
Who's with me?

The San Francisco Treat

Ah San Francisco. You were a whirlwind of fun and activity. Here is my trip, in a time line, because folks, it was so packed, that is the best way to give it to you.

Friday August 13, 2010 1:00pm: Get to my mom's house. Eat pizza. First real meal I have eaten in two days. Get horrible anxiety.

1:30pm: arrive at Logan Express terminal. Cry to an old Chinese man on the bus about leaving the kids and my fear of flying. He is oddly comforting.

1:45pm: arrive at airport. Debate taking my anti-anxiety meds after I throw up all of the pizza I just consumed. Convince myself to wait a little longer.

2:45pm: Spot Honest Tea Just a Tad Sweet in the kiosk by terminal. Decide that is a sign from above to take my anti-anxiety pill. Thank Leah and Victoria for keeping up with my neurotic text messages for the past couple of hours.

3:00pm: Leave Boston

4:40 pm: Land in NYC, rush to new gate, boarding has just begun. Call mom, Brody is crying. I cry.
5:00pm: Depart NYC. Try to sleep. Can't sleep. Can't stop looking at the man or woman across the aisle from me. At first glance I thought it was a woman, but since then I have noticed the body hair covering the person, and the definite man feet, but with nail polish. I am too confused to sleep.

9:04pm Pacific time: Land in San Francisco. Rush to nearest airport bathroom. Suffering from intense migraine. Get changed into rehearsal dinner clothes and pray for migraine to go away.
9:15pm: Wait in cold for taxi. Think about how strange it is to be cold. Thank God I brought a light jacket.

10:00pm: Get to rehearsal dinner. Missed the dinner. Happy to see Nathan and everyone else. Decide to chug water to help ease migraine, which has already started to fade. Decide the plane rides were to blame.











Midnight: Leave rehearsal dinner spot, tell Nathan I am famished. Spot a hole in the wall Mexican joint that advertises best vegetarian burritos in San Fran. SCORE! It is heaven in my mouth. I toss the tortilla chips and salsa though because I was a bit scared of how my stomach would react. Head to The Elbow Room (a bar) for after rehearsal dinner party. (I do not know why this is underlined and give up on trying to fix it.)


Saturday August 14, 2010 2:00am: Arrive in apartment rented for the stay. It's really cute. Climb into bed. Wonder how the kids are.

7:13am: Wake up. Immediately call the kids. They are all doing great. Keira has done exceptionally well. I feel instantly better and awake and ready to start the day. Nathan decides to sleep a bit longer. I take a shower, and wake up Meryl.

9:30am: Meryl and I do some last minute things for the wedding. Iron the table runners.

11:00am: Do some sight seeing. We have limited time, but want to buy the kids a gift and I have convinced everyone that I will die without eating In N Out. We go to Fisherman's Wharf, walk around, buy necklaces for the kids, Nathan gets stopped by a man who gives him a sticker for not smiling, see Alcatraz, see the sea lions, Nathan gets pooped on by a sea gull, we eat In N Out (grilled cheese animal style and fries for me, which is a grilled cheese with all the stuff they put on a burger... still no meat) sun comes out, we head back to apt to get ready for wedding.










2:00pm: Walk to Safeway with Meryl and Kim for some wine, champagne, OJ, and some other little things. We stayed right outside the Castro area of San Fran. It is really cool walking around.

3:00pm: My maturity level has dropped quickly. I make Meryl stand in the middle of the street to pose for a picture. We then take turns looking like drunk bums with our wine/champagne wrapped in paper bags. Classy. Head inside to get ready, help each other do our hair, and drink mimosas.



4:45pm: Head to wedding site (Swedish American Hall) It is walking distance. Thank god Kim brought flip flops. Paris Hilton, your shoes are cute, but are a bitch to walk in.

5:00pm: Set up last minute stuff for wedding. Brandie arrives. Time to begin!!! So excited!
5:15pm: Make Jim, who is walking with me down the aisle, promise to walk slow. I am scared of my shoes.

5:20pm: watch Brandie walk down the aisle. She is stunning, to say the very least. This is a very cool wedding. There are freaking goldfish in the cake. Well a layer/goldfish tank in the middle of it. And lots of candy, which is always a good thing.



5:45pm: What a wedding! It was original and emotional and wonderful. Take pictures.

6:20pm: Find out I, along with the bridesmaids will be singing "Jesse" by Carly Simon in front of everyone at the wedding. Kim captures my reaction on her camera.

6:23pm: Chug current wine, Kim and Meryl instantly get me a new glass. We all decide drinking as much as possible is the answer to singing in front of everyone.

6:40pm: Wedding party is announced one at a time to songs chosen by Jesse and Brandie. We don't find out the song until we walk out. I walk out to Paparazzi by Lady Gaga (because I am an actress) I stand in front of everyone and curtsy . Wine must be kicking in.

7:00pm: Lots of fun. Groomsman and Groom sing "Brandie" to Brandie. They go first and actually do a semi good job. I think this may be do-able.

7:10pm: Bridesmaids and Bride and mother of the groom sing. I am pretty sure we make no sense. I can't even hear the music. I have no idea what part of the song we're at. I just know when the chorus comes I sing "Jesse" really loud. I laugh. We all laugh. A lot.

8 or 9pm: I have no idea what time it is. I have no idea how many glasses of wine I've had. The effects of not nursing Keira for so long have taken effect. I tell certain people (Kim, Meryl, Nathan) that I am changing my name to NWOWW (because my boobs resemble JWOWW from Jersey Shore.) I must have had more wine than I thought.

who knows pm: Who is even getting me wine? I have not gone to the bar once all night. Clearly I still remember to keep my pinky up while drinking and dancing. Always a lady.



9:50pm: I am now singing "Don't Stop Believin' by Journey into a microphone in front of everyone. Clearly I no longer care about singing in front of people. Thankfully I am not alone doing this. Brandie's sisters Cate and Liz are also singing. I am having fun. Why don't I drink? I am a fun drunk!
10 something pm: Wedding is over. We broke everything down. The San Francisco Fire House is on the walk back to the apartment. Kim thinks it's a good idea to go inside and take a picture. My inebriated brain thinks that sounds like a fantastic idea. We run when we hear voices.

11pm: There is fun crevice outside of the apartment. I think it is a fun place to take a picture. I hate Paris Hilton for making such cute unwearable shoes. I have permanent loss of feeling in two toes on each foot. I hate the saying beauty is pain.



Midnight- 3:00am: Get changed and go to Clift Hotel for the wedding afterparty. It is a cool bar/club. I decide water is the way to for the rest of the night. The loud pulse of the music makes me feel sick. I sober up surprisingly fast. I am in love with the enormous chair in the hotel. I feel like a doll, or the incredible shrinking woman. I want a large chair in my house. We stay until the bar closes. We arrive back to the apartment. Set alarms, pass out.

Sunday August 15, 2010, 7:30am: Wake up. Do last minute packing. Call taxi.

8:15am: leave for airport.

8:45am: stand next to Zooey Deschanel in security line at the airport. She is little and cute and exactly like I pictured she would be. She has on Ray Ban type sunglasses. I want a pair.

9:30am: Get yogurt and a bagel at the airport. Board plane.

10:05am: Goodbye San Francisco. It was fun.

6:09pm Eastern Time: Arrive in Boston one hour early. Wait for mom to pick us up. Can not wait to see the kids. Keira doesn't like me for about an hour. She is furious with me. It makes me sad.

8:00pm: snuggle with kids and feel grateful for them, my mom for taking good care of them, Nathan's fam for the trip, and life in general.

WHAT A TRIP!