Grr

I am having a hard day. I am at least an hour behind schedule today. My kids are refusing to listen. I wish you could understand how I am feeling. I wish there was a way for me to accurately portray my frustration and emotions.
Brody has learned to lock the bathroom door. Do you know how difficult it is to reason with a two year old? To convince him to unlock a door. To hear things being taken out and tossed about and not being able to stop it? And oh when you hear water being sloshed, that's an added bonus. Super fun times.
My lovely daughter's screeching has seemed to reach an all time high today, just for some added umph to my building headache. I don't think she wants to talk. I think she enjoys the ticking of my head because the latest screech is still reverberating in my skull. Seriously y'all I am taking breaks from typing to hold my head steady because it. won't. freaking. stop ticking.
Ty and Nate decided that while I am so wrapped up in my Michael J Fox impressions (sorry, too tasteless? even as I wrote that I went oooohhh maybe not a good joke Nicole) that they would take the opportunity to pummel each other with the nearest objects within reach, and this has resulted in my house looking like a damn bomb went off. So here I am holding my head to stop the ticking and tripping over the remnants of the latest battle and trying to explain that I've had enough, but then the pterodactyl starts her screeching at just that moment, so that drowns out my voice.
H to the ELP.
Did I mention that according to Ty's football coaches, practicing while a hurricane is off the coast is a good idea. Yup, so I have that going for me tonight.
Who's bringing me the wine? If I try to go into a liquor store with my damn head ticking and wobbling while walking because I obviously have post traumatic stress from the catastrophe that is my house, I am certain they will think I am way past the point of needing alcohol. I think they would definitely classify me as being "in the red." (Thanks T.I.P.S. class!)
Also, if it were not for the fact that we have been too busy to go grocery shopping for oh... the past week and a half, I would have eaten my feelings today. I guess I should be grateful for that. What I wouldn't give for some comfort food right now. Okay, what I wouldn't give to lock myself in the bathroom (Brody does it, why can't I?) with a box of cheez-its, a bowl of ice cream (with sprinkles), some chocolate, a bottle of wine and a trashy magazine.
Who's with me?