Days 125,126, and 127

I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but I am going to be honest.  I am working like crazy at the gym to reclaim my body (it is a "need to get back in amazing shape before I turn 30 and my metabolism turns to shit" thing) and I feel like I have killed it this week.
Today I ran for an hour straight.  I am so proud of this accomplishment that I called/texted a few people who know my psychotic workout regime when I was done to share this fact.  I know it is boring to talk about it so much, but I can't help it.  I am working hard, and I am proud at what I was able to push my body to do the past three days.

Monday night Nathan and I stayed up late re-organizing our bedroom/Keira's room.  I was not on board to do it, because I was tired and I knew it was going to be a big project (we didn't finish until after 11) and quite frankly I did not want to find places for things I knew I had no place for.  Five bags of things we threw away, and three bags of things to donate later, it is done, and of course I am happy we did it.

It seems for the first time ever my family is not sick (knock on wood), but everyone else around us is.  A few of the kids had a minor stomach thing earlier in the week, but it was gone in 24 hours, and there was no fever or complaining, just some running to the bathroom.  That may have been due to an excessive amount of apples eaten in a day.  My kids are hyper sensitive to apples.  I know it is weird.

Anyway, we had all these playdates set up for the week and one by one they have been canceled because as I said, everyone around us is sick.  I am waiting for that completely inopportune time for my family to finally catch whatever is going around, but for now, we haven't, and for that I am super thankful.  And the kids have been surprisingly great this week so far, which is making vacation week so much more bearable than normal.

 My snuggle bug for the night, Brody.  He insisted we take pictures together.  I have like 20 on my phone.

The new living room couch.  It feels so grown up and nice.  The kids have been forbidden from it.  I'm joking... sort of.

Day 111

 I  spent much of my day coming up with some new things to do.  We played a Dinosaur Train counting game (that is very similar to Chutes and Ladders) and we spent an extra long time playing with Moon Sand and making dinosaur and rock molds with the Moon Sand.

Moon Sand is fun.

Moon Sand is messy.

I tried very hard to balance playing with the kids and cleaning.

I think it is so much harder to keep things in order when we are inside more.  One more reason my bones are aching for warmer weather.

My evening was filled with homework, a report, cooking dinner, bathing my babies, and once Nathan got home high tailing it to the gym for a good run.

It was a full day.

Day 104

I hit the gym early today.  Okay it wasn't 5am early.  It was after Ty got to school and the temptation to catch up on my DVR was setting in, so I jumped up, got dressed, got the kids dressed and booked it out the door.  It was that, or sink into my couch, put off cleaning until I had to, barter with the kids to gain t.v. rights, you know, basically just have a wash of a day.

So I got up, got out and ran.  It was a great run.  It was a needed run.
My body is thanking me.  Or it is yelling at me for pushing it so hard, but I will take that as a thank you.

Photos.

My mom has had these on her camera, and sent them to me yesterday. 

 

Enjoy your day!  Get up and get going!!!!

Day 82

Day 82.

Today I ran for Sharon.

Let me rephrase that.

Today I ran in honor of Sharon.  I ran so hopefully someday a wife isn't taken from her husband too soon, a mother isn't taken from her children, a grandmother from her grandchildren, a sister, daughter, friend isn't gone too early in their life.  I ran so that someday we can live in a world where we don't have to see our loved ones suffer through this terrible disease, cancer.  I ran so that hopefully Keira will not have to worry about living to see her children and grandchildren grow and live their lives.  I ran because it is the one thing I can do, raise money to help the scientists and doctors and trials to combat this disease.  I ran so that someday no family will have to go through what Nathan's family has.  I ran because I care so deeply about this, and because the hole Sharon has left is vast and deep.

82 days since I made this vow not to take for granted this life, this daily gift we are given.

82 days since I vowed to soak up the world around me.

I could not think of anything better to do than to spend this 82nd day running for Sharon.

 I was lucky enough to have my best friend run with me today.

 I am not exactly why running photos distort legs so much.

 This was probably me saying I had no idea where Kerrie was.

 

 Oh there she is!  Great job Kerrie!!

 Ty was there cheering me on.  Okay he was actually there saying mom, be faster.  *I finished under 30 minutes, I'd say that is decent*

 My mom was also there to cheer me on.  Thanks mom, I love you!!!!

 Ty, me and my brother, Travis

Day 81

Damn you germ-y season!

I need healthy thoughts sent my way.
I started feeling sick last night, and woke up with a fever that won't quit.

Tomorrow I am running in honor of Sharon, proceeds benefiting cancer.  It is scheduled to snow a bit here, and it would be nice the snow is the only downfall.  I need to get better asap.



Lots of rest and liquids for me now.

Day 77

It is early for a daily, but...

I had a hard time waking up to get back into a routine this morning.

Darn those kids sleeping in until 8:45 these past few mornings and spoiling me!

The older two got off to school with only two arguments this morning. I'll take that as a win.

The younger two enjoyed a pancake breakfast and a whole house to color.
I have caught up on washing, drying and folding laundry, and just have the annoying putting away part to go.
And I just have to clean the one room left in my house that has not been de-cluttered, which is naturally my bedroom, so I guess that forces me to put away the laundry and finish up my room all at once.
I should start the new year off with a spotless room, and set an example for my kids huh?

Now to just convince them to get their lingering toys and blankets off the floor in my room...

Oh did I not mention that my room is not cluttered with any of my things?
Nope, just my kids' stuff.

How nice of them.

Did I also mention to you that out fish had babies on new years eve?
Lots and lots of babies.

But I am just thankful it was the fish that had babies, and not the dog, or the cat, or the kids, or me.

Besides cleaning and not knowing what to do with this surplus of time I have right now, I also signed up for my second 5k race.

This race benefits cancer.

So far it has been a productive day.
I approve of you day 77.

Day 59

Woo to the hoo!!!

(Oh my gaaawwwsh, I just cringed at myself.)

My impatience has given way to raving mad anxiety.

Seriously.  I almost hyperventilated and threw up when I was talking to my mom today.

I got the email I have been waiting for, asking me to come in and read for the director on Thursday!  AMAZING!  Here's the catch, and it is a big one, it is for the role of the "dancer" I told you about.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that I can just bat my eyes (does anyone really do that?) and say pretty please, and maybe they'll forget all about this "dancer" role and let me read for the other one I want.

I'm hoping.

And praying.

But just in case I am memorizing the "dancer" (are you as sick of seeing that word as me yet?) scene as well, and being at my all time preparedness.  (Side note, I waited to see if preparedness was even a word when I typed it.  I thought for sure spell check would be underlining that one.)

I woke up at 545am to go running today.  I am still full of energy (or maybe anxious nerves) propelling me forward.  It was strange and kind of fun running that early.  I did get tired about halfway through today, but told myself if I wanted to be fit and look good, I must push through.

That lasted all of two minutes before I took a thirty second break to walk.

But I did it, and am looking forward to creating a routine of early morning running.  It feels nice to have completed it, and it definitely has a huge impact on my food choices for the day.

Now I am off to study and memorize and get into a "dancer" (sorry I had to just one more time) mentality.

Oh and if I get said "dancer" role, none of you will ever be allowed to see it.  Especially you Dad.

Day 56

Talk about soaking up life!

I have been going since 6:45 am, when I left, determined to get to the grocery store when it opened.  It is my favorite time to grocery shop.  Everyone is nice, there is hardly anyone there.  It is actually somewhat relaxing, as far as grocery shopping goes.

I can't believe I just had the words relaxing and grocery shopping in the same sentence.

Keira was my only companion his morning, but I came home to the boys just waking up, and Nathan heading off to work.

Since we have a busy day tomorrow, I wanted to stay in and get all of my cleaning done today.  I made a fun playlist and blasted the music.  I danced and sang, and got horrified looks from Ty while doing so, but I made it fun.  Even Brody and Keira jumped in on the dance-clean party.  Nate just stood to the side giggling, torn between being embarrassed and wanting to do it too.

I had so much fun, that I was shocked when I was done and the house was clean.

Nathan came home early enough for me to get a run in without the kids before it got dark out.  IT WAS BLISS.  I had an amazing run, thanks to the girl in the black hat, white jacket and black pants who was a few beats ahead of me, and make me keep an awesome pace.  I ended up running 9 minute miles!

I am waiting for dinner to finish cooking now, and thinking of what holiday movie the fam can snuggle up to watch tonight.

It has been such a good day., I love days like this.

Remember, today is the final day to enter to win a tutu/dress/petti-tutu in the color(s) of your choice!  Good luck to those that have entered, and thank you again for being the best readers a girl could ask for!

Day 47

I would like to thank The Pixies, The Dropkick Murphys, Jay-Z, The Killers, and Blue October for their completely random mix that my ipod threw together so that I was able to...

wait for it

wait for it

wait for it

run around the lake twice!!!

Six plus miles later, I have to pick up each leg and put it in front of the other to do anything, but I did it.

The stairs just look so painful that I am going to try and convince Nathan we need one of those chairlift devices so I don't have to physically crawl up the stairs.

I'm exaggerating.

I know, I know, I never do that, right?

I feel surprisingly good. I'm tired, and a bit sore, but I think my body's muscle memory is kicking into gear.

The two babies slept practically the whole way too.

Win win, folks.

Today has been a whirlwind from the start, and it's okay to have days like this every now and then.

It has been filled to the brim.

We got to play at the park with some of my favorite kiddos and friend.

We went to Target ('nuff said.)

I scored a superb deal on Christmas cards from Tiny Prints. $60 in store credit for just $30-! You can get the deal too, just sign up for a GiltCity account here. They have deals all over, and who doesn't love a good deal?

Though I still do not have a Christmas card photo, I at least basically bought the cards, so that's something, right?

I have also tackled scrubbing my bathroom, which needed to be done in a bad way. Getting those little things finished just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Shoot, before you know it I'll be singing Christmas Carols on your doorstep with a big, fat container of hot chocolate and some holiday cookies.

You wait and see.

That Holiday spirit is creeping it's way in, slowly but surely.

Oh! And I booked my appointment for my new head shots. How in this world could I forget about THAT?

Please be good to me Santa, so I can look really skinny and cute in those head shots.
Please make me understand that just because I ran so much, that doesn't give me a free pass to a second helping of the delish homemade mac and cheese I made last night.

That's it for today.

I am spent!

Day 45

I had a wonderful run this morning. I did not procrastinate on getting ready.

Did you hear that?

Listen closely...

That would be me patting myself on the back.

I am almost done with the laundry, which seems like it is multiplying at a particularly fast rate the past few days. I needed to just tackle it and be done with it.

Today is Taco Tuesday in my house, which is by far the family's favorite dinner of the week. Pizza Fridays come in a solid, but distant second.

Can I really feel so much more energized and happy from just these two days I have jumped back in to my exercise routine? Again, I am looking deep into myself and wondering why I convinced myself for so long to put it off.

Both Brody and Keira fell fast asleep on today's run. It got me thinking.

About what, you ask?

Oh, I was just about to tell you!

I am thinking that I may just try to go around the lake twice on Thursday. If the kids are sleeping, they'll never notice, so why not???

I'm sure I won't be able to run the whole almost seven miles. I am more than sure about that, but why not try? What's the worst that can happen? I walk instead of run? Hold me to it friends.

I have been so grateful to fall in love with running. It made me think about the things that help us as parents release our stress. Sometimes a hot bath and a good book at the end of the day can help me too. What do you do? As parents I think it is so important to have a release, and I would love to know what yours is. Even if you are not a parent, every person needs that one thing they can go to to regroup, right?

Tell me! I'd love to hear from you.

Or just let me know I am not talking to myself with these posts, because pretty soon I may feel like that crazy lady you see walking down the street muttering to herself.

:)

Day 44

I am happy to announce the minty green frosting is no longer stuck to my kitchen table!

I did pay dearly for leaving it there, because it became crusted and really set in to the table. It took a good half hour of scrubbing which my already sore arms did not want to do.

But it is done. C'est la vie.

I reflected on my procrastinating spirit again today.

I should begin by telling you I have gained back between 5 and 7 pounds since the end of September. I could blame it on many, many things and circumstances, but what it comes down to is willpower (or a lack thereof) and projecting my emotions onto food and the false comfort i can provide.
Now why can't I tell myself that the handful of m&ms or cheez-its (my forever enemy) won't make me feel better when I am staring at them?

I made the decision to get back into a routine. I needed to get back to basics. When I run and exercise, I feel better. When I feel better, I don't eat. When I exercise, I release the built up stress. Why do I ever make excuses to stop exercising?

I told myself it was too cold for me to bring the kids out. Today I layered them in at least 5 layers a piece (this includes Brody wearing Keira's tights because no matter how many times I tell him that girls' tights are not hockey pants, he refuses to believe me.) and put on my Under Armour pants and jacket and I waited. I waited for someone to call me with a better offer. I waited for Keira or Brody to tell me they didn't feel good. I waited for the school to call me and tell me Nate or Ty needed to be picked up. I waited for Nathan to call me and ask me to bring him the leftovers I packed for him to take for lunch/dinner, but he forgot, like always.

None of those things happened.

So I ran.

I waited until literally the last moment I could, to allow myself enough time (barely) to be home for Nate. I knew it would make me run faster to make it home for him. I knew I would feel better once I did it.

And you know what? It did. The kids were not cold, despite my fears. Brody actually told me he was hot. I was hot too once I got going. I took it easy and only actually ran 3/4 of the three and a half mile run, choosing to walk the rest, but that is okay too. I needed to ease into it again so I don't pay for it tomorrow. The best part? Keira actually took a nap during the run! And here I was worried she was going to be crying because her fingers would turn black from frost bite and fall off.

It is amazing the way the mind can convince one of things.

Or maybe it is just my mind.

Is my brain the only one out there that tries to manipulate me?

I want my children to grow up healthy. I want to set a good example for them on eating, exercise, and habits.

I know this is what has to fuel me when my willpower has reached zero, when the excuses of why tomorrow would be a better day to run than today flood my brain.

Willpower is a funny thing. When it comes down to it, as good as they can be, and sometimes as valid as they can seem, an excuse is just an excuse. This is my life and I want to take control of it.

I am twenty nine years young, and I will soon enter my thirties. I want to do so healthy in mind, body and spirit.

Day 41

Ouch.

That sums up my day. God help my family because I have complained to anyone who would listen, or was silent enough for me to tell them how much I hurt.

Yeah, I am not joking.

The simple fact that I have legs that are attached to my body puts me in great physical pain.

Walking hurts. Sitting hurts. Moving hurts.

How long has it been since I've run? A month? Remind me to never think I can go a month without running and then go run a race. Seriously. You have full permission to slap me out of it if I ever talk about doing that again, or you have every right to slap my convincing friend Kristina, because she probably is the one that will put the idea in my head that I can do it.

Speaking of running again, I did love doing it, and already have two more planned in the next six weeks, however I plan on keeping up with running in the meantime.

In an effort to distract myself from my physical anguish, I decided to cook.

Today I cooked:

Two homemade pizzas. One cheese, one bacon.

Homemade sugar cookies. Royal icing to decorate the cookies with (to be done with the kids in the morning.)

Chicken nuggets.

And for my masterpiece, that took me two whole hours, homemade whole wheat butternut squash ravioli (with the leftover Thanksgiving squash and I added some sage, parmesan cheese, and garlic.) I have never made homemade ravioli before. It was quite the project. I got really tired (mainly because I did all this cooking at once) and only ended up using a quarter of the pasta dough and squash filling. I froze both for sometime this week when I can tackle the project again.

Oh and I watched Beauty and the Beast with the kids this morning. Keira sang along the whole time, and the boys willingly watched it. We watched Snow White as a family last night too. I feel pretty psyched about the Disney Princess stuff going on in our house at the moment.

Good day, day 41. Good day.

Now I'm off to convince Nathan or one of my boys that they should show me how thankful they are for me by giving me a really nice massage.

Day 40 ~ Happy Thanksgiving

Forty whole days. It seems so long, but yet it has gone by in a blink.

My dear friend Kristina called me last week telling me there was a 5k in my town on Thanksgiving. She said "we should do it!"

Kristina ran her first marathon a month or so ago.

Kristina has not been emotionally eating.

Kristina is very convincing.

"It'll be fun!" She said.

It is now Thanksgiving morning, and I am about to go out in the freezing cold and want to guess who is coming with me?

NOT KRISTINA.

humph.

(She knows I am joking, I do not really hold a grudge against her for not coming. I will be happy I did it after I can feel my fingers and toes, and have stopped shivering.)

I am thankful for so much, and when I started these numbered postings, part of what that meant for me, was to see through the hustle and bustle of my days, and look at the good, see all I am grateful for, cherish every moment.

This thanksgiving I feel more aware. More grateful.

I hope all of your thanksgivings are filled with love and gratitude.

Have a very happy Thanksgiving.

***update: I ran the 5k in just under 32 minutes!!! I didn't stop, not once, and I am SO proud of myself. I definitely wanted to throw up as soon as I finished, but the point is, I did it. I had Nathan and the kids there waiting for me at the finish line. My heart is full. I talked to Sharon, my grandpa, my aunt Tammie, my grammy B, and my uncle David the whole way.
I also realized that Jay-Z makes running effortless, for me at least, and I could have danced my way through the race when he came on my ipod. I am already looking forward to doing it again, and think the next time I'll have Ty run with me.
Thank you to my mom who sponsored my run. The proceeds from today's run went to the Wakefield Interfaith Food Pantry.

Cheers to full bellies, hearts and souls.

Today is a good day.

Happy Anniversary to Bob and Sharon.***

Recovery

It has been a week since my nightmare of a running accident.
I am still recovering. My friend pointed out a massive bruise taking up much of my inner thigh, while we were at the beach. Awesome. It is now slowly turning purple, and is not as completely black as it first was. The bruising on my shins is finally surfacing, and the swelling has gone down a bit. On the other hand the gash on my shin has started to look somewhat puss filled and that creeps me out, so now I'm questioning if maybe I should have had stitches... but it's too late for that now.These are my shins right after the accident.


This is my inner thigh bruise as of last night.

TMI?
This is what you come here for though right? My strange ramblings? Isn't it why you love me?
You know you love me.
We had a wonderful weekend and I will post more about that later.
In other news that makes me forget all about me bruised and battered body, I am **OFFICIALLY**
down TWENTY pounds since May. I hit a new low this morning and let me just say WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Maybe, just maybe, next summer I will be wearing a bikini. I know, this just made your day too. If it didn't than my giddy as a school girl mood because of this is surely infectious enough to at least crack a smile. C'mon, you know you did ;)

Because Normal Doesn't Apply to Me

Want to hear a confession? I am a huge klutz. Catastrophic is a better way to describe it, yes, a catastrophic klutz is what I am. And you know, I am okay with that. In fact, you may even say due to my inappropriate reactions to accidents and falls, it is fitting for me. I can see the humor in these embarrassing moments. I will laugh to myself for days, replaying what the scenes look like from the outside, in my head.
Tonight, despite moments of me thinking I just killed, or at the very least severely injured my two youngest children, was a doozey even for my standards. I should start by telling you I forced my run tonight. It is oppressively hot and humid and the weather predicted storms, so despite outwardly saying I was bummed I couldn't run, inwardly I knew I was somewhat glad. But the skies heard my inward rejoicing and didn't show any signs of raining. And it became breezy. Touche weather, touche.
Out I went. I was making good time, and was very happy I sucked up the laziness to get out, because no matter how bitter I am before the run, I am always beyond happy when I am actually out. I was a mile in, going at full speed, when my stroller must have hit a rock or something because the next thing I knew the stroller, babies in tow, went flying in the air and I was leaping trying to catch it, or brace the fall, or turn into some sort of superhero and magically appear in front of the stroller instead of behind it. I failed. Miserably. To my horror, the stroller, kids strapped in landed face down, babies face down, and I, in all my valiant effort managed to flip head over heels over the entire stroller and land on the other side. For a split second I sucked in my breath, slightly, no overwhelmingly scared to lift the stroller and see the condition of my two babies. I mean they flew, strapped in and landed on their faces! I expected blood, lots of blood, gashes, broken somethings, ambulances, hospitals. But I lifted it, and found instead two terrified, shocked babies. Keira with a scraped up nose, upper lip and cheek, and a slightly skinned knee. Brody with a scraped chin and a tiny scrape on his eye.
It was then I noticed the young guy in the truck who was by my side, asking if we were okay, who he could call, what he could do, picking up water bottles and batman toys and sippy cups. I assured him we were okay, just a bit shaken up. Despite my words, he stayed, waited until we were all pulled back together, until the crying had stopped. His momma raised him right.
All in all, it was a close call. My shins are badly, badly bruised. A mountainous lump resides on each shin, black in color and one of which has a nasty gash. My hip bones are scraped up and bruised, I am pretty sure I pulled my lefts back muscles, and my right forearm is bruised a bit.
I walked for a bit after that, another half mile or so until I got up the courage to run the remaining two miles. I kept asking the kids if they were okay, to which Brody would respond, "We go boom, mommy?" To which I sighed and said "yes, we did, but I promise I will try to never let that happen again."
Just another day, right? Now for tylenol and some ice.

Rainy Day Fun

This weekend was different. Friday I was down to just my two youngest babies. Ty went to the Red Sox game and and Nate and Nathan went to New Hampshire. I took advantage and went for an extra long run and made it a very early night.
I picked up Ty mid morning and we headed to my mom's house for dinner and some fun.