April 7, 2009... D-Day is here, but no Keira. Fashionably late. I got the call from my doctor. I will be admitted to the hospital at 7am on Thursday (unless of course there are a million other women who happen to go into labor that night, etc.) so I will call the hospital at 550am, and if they give me the green light, we'll go as planned.
I am planning on having a special dinner with the boys on Wednesday night, and we'll take them all in to the hospital Thursday morning. I am having Nathan (and kids) drop me off so he can hang out with them as long as possible (Ty will be going to school of course) and will have him head in once I am contracting regularly.
This whole thing is still not real to me... as big as my belly is and as ready as I am to not be pregnant, I don't think I will actually believe I am having another baby until she is here and I can see her and hold her. Maybe it is the girl factor too that makes it so unreal. I will be in mourning the next two days for my freedom as I know it right now. I am taking full advantage of that. To any non-pregnant, or currently pregnant women, whether it be your first, second, third, etc, I hope you realize that your life as you know it will never be the same again. You may think (this is more for the first timers) you will be able to do pretty much everything you do now, just with a cute adorable baby too, but trust me when I say, even the simplest things that you undoubtedly take advantage of now will never be the same again. Sorry to burst the bubble on that. There are no more quick runs here, or oh I need to stop in to this store and grab whatever. You now have to plan, carry, prepare for EVERYTHING. Obviously this is all worth it, but as one mom to another, think of it as a heads up. I am well aware of my freedom, and how with every baby I lose more and more and in return unselfishly give another part of myself to another human being instead. It does not mean it isn't hard, and there aren't days that I just want to sleep in, or go to the bathroom without the door being pushed open, or take a shower on my time, as long as I want, again without interruption. Please do not read this as a poor-me, my life stinks rant. Instead read it as friendly advice from someone who chose to embark on motherhood, and knows everything it entails.
Also, learn to let go. Be willing to accept that you will never achieve what you think in your head is perfection as a mom. You may be able to do it all, but that doesn't mean you're happy!!! Let stuff go. Enjoy the chaos. If need be, lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes (after making sure there are no dangerous things your kids can kill themselves or the others with) and cry, scream, or just breathe. Play music to block out crying that can't be stopped, whining that won't quit, or siblings fighting that you just don't want to listen to.
My most important advice I could ever give is to covet your friendships and relationships. Your non-parent friendships are great, and you should never lose those, but man-oh-man, the bonds you will make with other moms are priceless. You need someone who actually has been through it (because sorry, think what you want, unless you have PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY been through it with your own child, you just do not fully understand) to make you feel normal. Someone you can share your experiences with, and a person who will in return say, "I just went through that yesterday" to make you feel normal. That is what you need, and want. You don't want to talk to someone who pretends to be perfect and like they have it all together. It just makes you feel dumb and like you're doing something wrong. Be honest. Get out and spend time with those moms that you bond with. Don't hole yourself up in the house.
On that note, I signed Nathan and I up for the gym today. I won't start going for a week or two after I have the baby (yes I'll be taking it easy.. just some cardio and light weights) and am very excited about this. I won;t be able to go until after I put the boys to bed, and Nathan can have some special time with the baby. He'll be going after work. I also am headed to a store tomorrow to pick up my belly bandit. I believe I have mentioned this previously, but after research and discussion have decided to wrap my belly after delivery, and it will remain wrapped for about 8-12 weeks. Tonight I am picking up the boys gifts for the hospital, and am making sure everything is ready and set to go so I can just enjoy the day tomorrow.
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