New Headshots!

Earlier this month I had the privilege of having a session with Jessica Nyiredi to get some new headshots.  Jessica has taken photos of my kids before, and truly does exceptional work.

I am happy to show you the ones I have narrowed it down to.  I will pick one shot to be my "main" shot, that I have printed with my name to bring to castings, etc.  I would love your opinion!

I wanted these shots to be a blank slate.  Minimal makeup.
Anyway, opinions are greatly appreciated.  Thank you!!!!

(And thank you to Jessica who is just brilliant, plain and simple.

Day 104

I hit the gym early today.  Okay it wasn't 5am early.  It was after Ty got to school and the temptation to catch up on my DVR was setting in, so I jumped up, got dressed, got the kids dressed and booked it out the door.  It was that, or sink into my couch, put off cleaning until I had to, barter with the kids to gain t.v. rights, you know, basically just have a wash of a day.

So I got up, got out and ran.  It was a great run.  It was a needed run.
My body is thanking me.  Or it is yelling at me for pushing it so hard, but I will take that as a thank you.

Photos.

My mom has had these on her camera, and sent them to me yesterday. 

 

Enjoy your day!  Get up and get going!!!!

Days 102 , 103 and 104

I know, behind again.

This weekend has flown by.

I have marathon grocery shopped.  I have hit the gym.  I have baked for a friend's 30th birthday party, I have celebrated that friend's 30th birthday, I have cleaned, I have read books, I have played, I have been up until at least 1 in the morning the past two nights, and woke up not too long after that, I have kissed boo boos, laughed a lot, I have hugged the ones I love, and I have let laundry and dishes pile up so I could snuggle my babies.

Overall it has been a wonderful, crazy, life filled three days.

Now, at 6:45pm on Sunday night I am officially ready to crash.  That's a lie.  I am beyond ready to crash.  I am a zombie.  I could fall asleep anywhere right now.  But I am going to try and catch up on a little laundry and put the dishes in the dishwasher so all the catch up cleaning won't seem quite so intimidating in the morning. 

Oh and I have lots and lots of pictures for you... I will get to that tomorrow, I promise!

Day 101

Today was a hot mess.  But in a "I will laugh about this later" kind of way.

And you know what, by the afternoon, everything seemed so ridiculous to me that I was already laughing.  It was one of those days.



I woke up with a residual wine headache.  The kind that makes you want to pull the covers over your head, or the kind that makes you want to eat greasy food, even though you know you're going to throw it up.

(pretty mental picture, eh?)

The kids had no school, and there was close to another foot of snow on the ground.  I tried to sleep in, I really did, but it was short lived when Nathan couldn't find his keys.  He had moved our cars last night, for easier snow-blowing tactics, and my keys were safe inside the house, but his were no where to be found.  We feared they were stuck under the massive amount of snow.  We called AAA, to find it was at least a four hour wait.  We called a local locksmith who said it would be a while.  I decided to go outside and try one more time to look around.  I had about the same odds as finding a needle in a haystack.

But then, under a pile of snow, I saw something black.  So I dug a little deeper.  And there, right there on the ground, under all that snow, were his keys.

I could not believe my luck.

Next up was a two hour trip to the dentist for the boys.  They did great.  Wonderful in fact.  But two hours hopping between two rooms, trying to stop Brody from grabbing more prizes was a little rough.  For the record, I gave up on the prize situation and let him dump a whole drawer of little bugs.  I made him promise to clean it up before we had to leave, and thank the lord, he actually did.

The next hour was spent listening to the kids whine and cry about how they were starving and I was the meanest person ever because I wouldn't let them eat (per dentist's orders because they just had a cleaning.)  Of course once told they can't eat, they suddenly become ravenous, blood thirsty children.  I'm going to start telling them they're not allowed to clean.  No more picking up toys, no more turning the lights off when leaving a room, no more bringing your dirty clothes down.

Think it will work?

The kids were anti snow this day.  They said they were "tired of playing in the snow."
Any other day, they wouldn't dream of saying this.  Come spring, you watch they will be dragging each other on their sleds around the yard again.  But today, the snow was their enemy.  Instead they basically self destructed.

Nate tattooed a dancing bear wearing a tutu on his forehead.

Brody stamped his face.

Keira colored all over her face and hands.

It was just kind of all downhill.

But like I said, it became one of those days where things seem so absurd that laughing is all you can do.

Otherwise you may go crazy.

Day 100!!!

ONE HUNDRED DAYS.

It has been one hundred days since I made the decision to appreciate, soak up, and not take a moment of this one life for granted. 

Let's wrap our heads around that.

One hundred days.

In elementary school there is usually a celebration for day 100.

I remember making a poster board with Ty when he was in kindergarten.  We had to cover it with groups of 100 things.  We did things like 100 paper clips, 100 cotton balls, 100 erasers, 100 stickers.

100 is a big deal.

100 should be celebrated.

Today, the kids and I faced yet another day of being indoors by creating a fort and having tea parties in there and reading books and snuggling under blankets.

Today we also got word of an exciting opportunity for my family.  It is completely random, once in a lifetime experience, and (sorry for this next part) not in the least bit definite, but I should know more within the next few weeks.  I will share regardless of how it turns out, but if you have read this blog long enough, you know how superstitious I can be about this stuff. 
Good thoughts appreciated.

Today was rough towards the end.  My frustration levels were high, and bed time was feeling like it would never come.  Nathan worked extra late, Ty had basketball, which meant I lugged the kids in the snow to and from basketball practice, and I ended up almost crashing into a snow bank.  When Nathan got home he told me he'd get Keira to bed so I could go to the gym for a quick run, and he also gave me money to pick up a bottle of wine.
When I walked in the door, the shower was running for me, and when I got out of the shower, a big ol' glass of wine was poured.  It was a terrific way to wrap up the day.

Day 100.

Day 99

Today I caught up on ten thousand loads of laundry.

I may be exaggerating a little bit.

So because I had such an exciting day, I thought I'd share this little tid bit.

Each and every night while I get ready to make dinner, Keira picks up on this time to eat cue, gets in her chair, and begins screaming "I'm HUNGRY" in the most starving child-mom you never give me food-kind of way.  When I tell her each and every night it will be ready soon, she pouts and gets mad at me.

I think I'm in trouble with her.

Day 98

Maybe the downer feeling I had yesterday was due to some little bug.  I woke up with a migraine that hasn't quit.  It is defiant and cruel, fighting ibuprofen.  But today had to be productive.  It had to.  With a week full of things scheduled in, and a major snow storm predicted to hit smack in the middle of the week, I just had no choice.  I bundled up the kids like little Eskimos, and layered myself as best as I could under my non winter jacket.
It is below zero here folks.  Not errand running weather.

But we did it.  We accomplished a crap load, and hopefully each day will get better and better.

Until then, enjoy Keira's yoga poses with me.

 and don't you worry about those goldfish on the ground... I cleaned them up.

Day 97

Today felt dreary.  I don't know if it was the emotional, chaotic, roller coaster of a weekend.
Okay, I am guessing it was because of that.

Today I guess I just felt kind of down.  I would have loved to have curled up in my bed all day and watched old movies like Breakfast at Tiffany's and The Way We Were.  Maybe have had some tea if I ventured out of bed for more than a bathroom trip.

But that was not my fate today.

Maybe in another seventeen years, right?

A girl can dream....

So to make myself feel better, I soaked in the kids' energy and love today.

They delivered.

Big time.

 First there was this lunch time-peanut butter and fluff moment with Keira.  Her chair in the sun, her sweet smile.  It just made my heart fly.

 Then there was my Brody boy, who may love food more than me, but his sweet little face just makes me smile.  I want him to never grow older than he is right now.

 And my Nate-o, who in this photo is waiting, already knowing he won the game of Go Fish, patiently for Ty to count his matches.  I love that his confidence is exuding through this snap shot.

 And one more of Keira, in her refound cat hat with a bowl of goldfish that she was really happy about.

Oh and my Ty.  My almost ten year old Ty.  My oldest child who is always a trooper.  Even if that means playing Go Fish with his brother when he'd rather watch ESPN.  My Ty who sat down and read books with his younger siblings for an hour tonight. 

Days 94 and 95 and 96

When I am not on top of posting each and every day, things build.  Days mesh together.  Life blends in a way I can't describe and certain moments bubble to the surface in a way that suffocates the rest  to the point where I can only remember those bubbles.

Thursday, day 94, is a complete memory loss, with one exception.  Brody had his speech therapy, which I am not very happy to report is a struggle for him.  It is only a half hour, but he is having a very hard time, and his teacher is meeting with the head of the department to talk about what we can do to help him out some more.
This is not to say Brody has not made tremendous progress in a year.  A little over a year ago he was not speaking at all.  I worry about Brody, and mostly his self confidence.  I want the world for him, so it hurts so very much when I can't just fix something like this.  It hurts to think he has to work so hard to do something so basic as speak and more importantly be heard and understood.

Friday, Day 95, we had another snow storm, another no school day, which to be honest, is feeling very routine.  Although I am a creative cat, all these days are taking a toll on my bag full of tricks.
So, as is par these days, I woke up and cooked.  I did have some pretty cute help though.

Brody and Keira helped me whip up some banana and blueberry pancakes.

Then all those pancakes got cut into cute little hearts, and topped with whipped cream.

It made all this more bearable.  Because Nathan had to work, I shoveled, and man was it a workout.

I came back in after shoveling to Keira in full on relax mode.  I was jealous.  And I have no idea which of her brothers gave her a whole bag of peanut brittle, or where they even found peanut brittle, because I had no idea we had it.

Friday ended horribly.  Because Nathan's car was without snow, and was warm, I took him car to the gym.  I should have skipped it because I was already sore from shoveling.  Nathan just so happened to give me a bunch of money to do a much needed household items trip after the gym.  I never bring my jacket and wallet with me on normal gym trips, but I knew I was going to the store after, so I did.

My jacket was left folded up on the floor of his car, my Coach clutch/wallet in the pocket, not visible (neither was my jacket for that matter) and I parked as close as I could to the door, four cars in, right under a light.  A little less than an hour later, I came out, got in the car only to look over and see glass everywhere.  Someone had smashed the passenger window and taking my jacket.  

Now I know, it was a bad choice to leave my jacket and wallet there.  Gosh do I know that.  It sent us back weeks with money, seeing as how I no longer have a winter jacket, Nathan has no window, we lost all that money, I have to replace a gazillion cards.  It just plain and simple sucks.  It was a terrible way to end the day.

Saturday, Day 96 we woke up bright and early so I could take Ty to an audition.  My mom watched the rest of the kids, and once we were done we spent some more time with my mom.  I came home and was quickly trying to get things ready to take Keira to a Princess Dance party.  Right before I left I got a phone call from my library, telling me a pizza place a few towns over found my wallet outside in the snow.  Seriously, what are the chances?  Thankfully my wallet and the party were in the same town, so I picked it up on my way.  It was gross, soaking wet and missing my money and debit/credit cards, and a couple of gift cards, along with a few really random things, but it had all of our health cards, all of our museum passes, my license, and the kids pictures, so yay for that!  I am still sad about my jacket.  It is hard not to have attachments to material things.  This was a Diesel jacket that I had for about eleven or twelve years.  It was bought when I was a little fashionista.  Pre-children.  It was bought when I lived in the world of Copley, The Pru, and Newbury St in Boston, when I worked at French Connection and my wardrobe was filled with expensive designer things.

I will never again afford a $350 jacket.  Not anytime soon at least, so it is sad for me to let that go.  I know how completely materialistic this all sounds, but please, let me just have my time to grieve. 

The party was a blast.  Keira was nothing short of hesitant when we first got there, but warmed up, joined in some games and ended up loving it.  I can not explain how amazing it is to go to a girly party with my own girl now.  It is magical. 

We finished up the day baking M&M cookies and watching Labrynth.  I have watched this movie, one of my childhood favorites, many times with the kids before, but it never held their interest much... until last night.  They LOVED it!  Brody had moments of being a little scared, but wanted to watch it again as soon as it was over.  Keira was so concerned about the baby the whole time, and kept saying "uh-oh, where's the baby?", or "oh-ohhhhhhhhh BABY!"  The older boys soaked it up, and got most of the jokes this time around.  Nothing could make me happier!  I look forward to many more Labrynth nights with them.

Three days.  Those were the bubbles that stayed on the surface.

Day 93

Redemption.

After my bad eating day I want to share that I do, in fact, know how to properly prepare food and eat without devouring approximately 3,894 calories in one sitting.

 So readers, meet my new favorite.  It was in Rachel Ray's mag this month.  But I changed it a tad.  Basically, it is whole wheat pasta, with a homemade (parsley, pine nut, lemon, olive oil) pesto sauce and grape tomatoes (that were halved, and drizzled with olive oil, s and p and baked)  Everything was tossed together and I added some freshly grated romano cheese on top.

Y-U-M!!!

 We also made a trip to my mom's work, (Brody, Keira and I), which the kids love.  My mom takes them to the vending machine and lets them pick out a snack, they play at her desk, and they get super excited to see their pictures pop up as a screen saver.  It's the little things folks.

Brody in my mom's glasses

Keira in my mom's glasses

Who said child labor couldn't look cute?!?!

In other news, my body hates me for adding 15 minutes onto my normal running time (I am trying to build endurance) and I wish I could make you feel all the new muscles I have discovered in my body.  I didn't lift a weight, not one, and yet my body feels like it just went through a final workout with Bob or Jillian.  (Biggest Loser reference.  I don't even watch the show anymore, but I feel those contestant's pain.  Ouch.)

I had a thought today that maybe, just maybe, if I keep at this I will be able to work my stomach back to a desirable form eventually.  And by desirable form, I mean I won't have to constantly be aware of holding my stomach muscles together and tight so I don't walk around looking 6 months pregnant all the time.

I wish I was joking about that.

You're looking at me differently now, aren't you?

Shoot.  I blew my perfect, super mom cover. 

Day 92

More snow.

I have been desperately searching through my internet and photo history to see when exactly the snow seems to disappear and we are back outside in t-shirts.

Not that I'm complaining.  I love the snow.  It's pretty and a fun break, and the kids really love it.


It's just, I think I mentioned before, being snowed in makes me want to bake and cook, which today meant butterscotch-chocolate chip cookies (just because), and for lunch a disgustingly good plate of tortilla chips with veggie chili and some, okay more than some, cheese sprinkle on top.

Also, I will never admit to you whether or not I ate the whole plate and lied to the kids to tell them it was spicy, so they wouldn't try to eat it.

I know.  I am a terrible person.

The other good thing about snow days is cuddling with my babies.  Keira was an ultra cuddler today.  She also thinks my ipod is a phone and likes to "talk" to me on it.

But the good news about my gluttony today is that I made a deal with Nathan last night.  I said I would stay up and have a glass of wine with him if instead of going to the gym at 5am, I would go tonight.  So as I ate my non fat lunch (which has made me so full I have yet to eat anything else today... except for one, okay, okay TWO cookies) I justified it with killing it at the gym tonight.

That was day 92.

Day 91

Martin Luther King Jr day.

It is easy to pass over this day, think of it as a long weekend, but in my ever expanding effort to soak up this life, I have re-educated myself on MLK today and I have to say the almost thirty year old me appreciates what Mr King did for our world even more than the school girl me.


So today, in honor of MLK I want to share some of the most inspiring words, to me, that he spoke, that he stood by, that he lived.


"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase." 

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." 


"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." 

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." 

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." 

"No one really knows why they are alive until they know what they'd die for." 

"There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right." 

"It does not matter how long you live, but how well you do it." 


And lastly, in his last speech on the day before his assasination,

"Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord."

Day 90

Sunday.

Basketball.

(Ty's team lost, but it was a close one, and Ty scored two baskets.)

Food.

(Nathan slow cooked ribs for five hours.  I made spinach dip in a bread bowl, and put out a big platter of cheese and crackers.)

Clue.

(We attempted to play.  Key word is attempted.  Basically I explained and reexplained it was a process of elimination game, but no one got that, and I ended up being on everyone's team.)

Football.

(Ouch.  Seriously.  Ouch.)

Golden Globes.

(I cried.  I know, it is a somewhat pathetic trait that I sob like a baby when I watch awards shows, but I get it and I feel so connected to each person in the room.  This year was particularly tough because I could have been there.  Please spare me the coulda shoulda woulda because it was so close I could taste it.  It has however fueled that already burning strong bonfire into a full on raging forest fire.  Watch out Hollywood Foreign Press Association, I'm-a comin'!  And congrats to all the winners.  There was such a diverse group this year, and that, I think is wonderful.)

Days 88 and 89

Day 88 was filled.  Top to bottom filled up with chaos, but the good kind.

Day 88 started my very first morning running at the gym, instead of out in the freezing cold.  It was shockingly crowded.  My ipod loved me, and played all of my favorite songs in a row, and I just zoned out and ran.  It was glorious.

The rest of the day was filled running from here to there and everywhere in between.  It didn't bother me though.  The kids were back in school, our schedule resuming right where it left off.
That night Nathan and I popped open a big ol' bottle of wine and relaxed, playing some Kinect games and then watching some t.v.

I couldn't have asked for a more filled to the brim day.

Then at 3am on lovely day 89 I was woken with a terrible stomach bug.  Every hour, almost on the hour I was up.  I felt defeated.  Nathan headed to work a bit before 8am, and I made the couch my command base, and begged the kids not to declare war on the house.
Thankfully Nathan came home a bit earlier than planned, and he sent me right up to bed where I napped for a couple of hours.  I didn't even turn the t.v. on in my room when I went up to nap.  I just flopped on my belly and crashed.
My stomach was pretty upset all day, with real bad nausea coming in waves, but overall I felt a bit better by the evening.
What a contrast between day 88 and day 89.  One full of life and craziness, one wretched and miserable.

Day 87

2nd day of no school.

Today we went sledding.

Okay, today, we trekked through snow that was way past my knees to attempt to sled.  Brody went down once, and Keira never really did because the wind was so strong that it was stinging their poor little faces and they both just wanted to go home.  They last about 45 minutes before I hauled in Ty and Nate.

We came home and played out in our yard though, which the wind seemed to avoid.

Good thing I joined the gym again, because something about being snowed in as triggered an instinct to cook and cook and bake and cook and then bake some more.

Seriously.

Yesterday I whipped up a massive batch of blueberry pancakes, (with the biggest, juiciest blueberries I have ever had), then as soon as I cleaned up after breakfast I was on the making pig cake (I made it at 8am because it needs to chill several hours), for lunch it was gourmet ham and cheese for the kids, and for dinner a ridiculously good new recipe, Mushroom and Marsala Pappardelle.  It has portobello and porcini mushrooms with kale (which I had never made before, but the kids loved it and so did I) and this marsala and cream sauce, and man it was good... can you tell I liked it?
Today I woke up and made cinnamon rolls for the kids, which is usually only a Christmas morning thing in my house, and then the kids and I made a batch of M&M cookies and now I'm on to Grammy's Chicken.
Seriously.  Gym tomorrow morning.  I'm going to have to kill myself there to work all this snowstorm food off.  I will most likely look ridiculous because my arms already feel like they are going to fall off at any moment from the crazy amount of shoveling I've done.

I just thought I should confess all this.  Does being snowed in make anyone else cook and bake like this?
I have made so much food I gave my neighbors copious amounts of tupperware filled containers last night.

I am a strange one, huh?

Pray for me,

Your gluttonous friend Nicole.

Day 86 ~And Then It Snowed

It snowed all day.  ALL day.  It was beautiful and fun and magical.  The kids were out with us all day playing in it.  Here are a couple of videos.

Day 85

I don't normally talk finances here, but today my wallet screamed ouch.

I spent a record amount at the grocery store.

Ready for this?

Get ready...

Here it comes....


$306.57.

My jaw just about dropped to the ground.

I need to tell you that I am not an impulsive shopper by any means.  Every week and a half or so, sometimes two if I can squeak it out, I sit down, write a menu planner, write necessities we have run out of, and then any ingredients I do not already have for the dinner menu.
I am restrictive with snacks, and to be honest kind of cheap about it.  I for the most part, only make cookies, and those are generally the only sweets the kids have.  I buy things like apples, oranges, grapes and bananas for snacks, and lately wheat ritz-like crackers with cheese or peanut butter.
We are a no soda household, and the kids are limited to one glass of juice a day, but they usually don't have one.  They prefer water, with milk at lunch and dinner.  (We go through at least 4 gallons of milk a week.)
Granted I haven't shopped in almost two weeks, but today's bill was surprisingly high.  I feel like I blew 1/2 of my monthly budget in one week and that freaked me out.

I just so happened to have to do the household shopping for everyday things, cleaners, etc, so it just felt like a major money blow today, which generally gives me anxiety.  I don't like spending large amounts of money.  I know, it is really weird.  Not even for fun things like tvs or video games or clothes.  I get buyers remorse incredibly easy and get an overwhelming sense of fear and guilt.

On the other hand, I love a great deal.  So when my friend told me that a local gym that is only 10-/month added babysitting to the gym, I was stoked. It took me a week to mull it over and decide if I was going to commit, but today I took the plunge.  I figure it beats getting up at 530 to run in the cold, when I could get up and workout inside instead, or (gulp) bring the kids during the day and not wake up early at all.  Think of the freedom!!!

That basically sums up my day.  Money.

Day 84

 Day 84 was a filled to the brim one.  Today, although it could have been a disaster, seeing as how I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, and got caught up watching The Prince and Me at quarter of three, not going to sleep until it was over sometime after four am, and having both Brody and Keira in my bed, both arms falling asleep as they both snuggled as close as close could be (don't get me wrong, I love snuggling these two, sometimes it just is a bit hard falling back asleep, and can be a bit crowded.),  and because Ty and Nate were having a rough time getting along in the morning, and my house felt dirty to me, so I spent the whole morning cleaning and scrubbing an mopping, I somehow salvaged those feelings and exhaustion and turned it into a wonderful day.

After cleaning, I decided to put up Valentine's Day decorations, (which I always forget to do until two days before V-Day,) I gathered the kids to make a cute Valentine's Day project to hang up.  Each child had four hearts to color and decorate as they saw fit, and I made two larger hearts, one to go at each end.  We strung those together on a string, and voila! A cute decoration.

Brody and Keira decided to put on a funny performance, which made me laugh

Keira and I painted our nails a pretty purple color.

I actually got two french braids in Keira's hair, which may or may not look like corn rows, but I did it!

And the kids and I finished off the day with a major Just Dance session, and then some Kinect bowling.

Everyone crashed fairly early and the day felt warm and fuzzy and cuddly to me at the end.

 

Brody and Keira's performance.

  

Our V-Day craft

  

Keira's braids... hey, I tried!Don't judge please, remember I have had three boys.

  

Brody was in rare form.  Or not so rare actually.

Live long and prosper.  Have I ever told you how much I loved Star Trek:The Next Generation when I was younger?  I am a total dork.  I hate my hand in pictures, so I had to do something weird.  Pretty purple color though, right?