Horrible, No Good, Really Bad Day

So today sucks. Yup. That sums it up about right.
I woke up at an ungodly early time, only to remember that there was no need to wake up early because the boys were all skipping school today to go to the dentist. (Yes, I remembered about a half hour after I had already been up, and at that point there was no point to going back to sleep.)
I ran a couple of errands before heading to the dentist. As mentioned before I like to make the dentist a fun experience for my kids, and they have always enjoyed it, so for the past few days I have been teaching Brody to say "AHH" and show me his teeth, and have been telling Nate about how they were going to take "pictures" (X-Rays) of his teeth and how we may even be able to tell when he would loose his first tooth.
When we arrived, they handed me the forms to fill out for Brody, which was fun because Keira was sitting in my lap while I was trying to fill them up and the girl just wanted the damn pen I was writing with. She would not give up, and looked at me like "Duh just give it to me woman! I can draw hearts and butterflies on the paper." Mid way through the 753 pages of paperwork, the dental hygienist came in and called for Nate, so in he went. Well 3.2 seconds later she came back and said "I think he'd like you with him."
In we went, leaving a paper trail along the way. We stood outside the room waving to Nate while he got his x rays done and telling him what a good job he was doing. We would have been shaking pom poms if we had them. And I was watching Nate get increasingly more stiff, and then I saw it. The tell tale quiver of the chin. Nate goes through these very distinct steps before he has an all out melt down. First he's quiet, then the jaw tightens, then the chin quivers, shortly after the eyes swell with tears, then WATCH OUT world!
Shit. We moved into the room, and in those 5 steps the eyes had filled. He became red faced, and started shaking. The kid had a full on PANIC attack. He was a broken record saying "I don't want to do this, I want to go home" over and over and OVER. Now Brody is watching with his eyes wide. Shit, shit, shit. Now the dentist is talking to me, showing me his xrays. His two bottom adult teeth are growing in the WRONG way. SHIT. And through the course of Nate shaking like a leaf, in hysterics, full on panic attack, Brody trying to run out of the room because he is thinking "You won't get me lady!" and Keira trying to get that damn pen and eating the papers I was trying to fill out that had questions like what my almost two year old's HOBBIES are (I wrote playing by the way), I am half hearing the dentist telling me that Nate can not be cleaned today, he is having anxiety (Ya think) and that his teeth are growing the wrong way, and he's have to be put under in the hospital to have his bottom FOUR teeth removed and try and correct the adult teeth and oh, they'll do the cleaning then, while he's asleep to make it easier.
Next thing I know I'm being ushered in to some new strange office I've never seen where a man whom I have never seen (they must keep this room cloaked in some invisible material so when you have to go there and see the secret man, you are still wondering where the hell the door popped out from so you sign the papers more easily) is handing me a brochure for the hospital and asking me if December 15th is ok. WAIT, hold the freaking train, because I have no clue what the hell just happened.
Next thing I know Brody is laying on top of me in the dentist chair, Ty is holding Keira in a teeny tiny chair in the corner, Nate is still hysterical, and they are trying to now count Brody's teeth. My head is still spinning with anesthesia and Nate and all the things that COULD happen, when they turn the tooth cleaner buzz-y thing and then Brody goes into meltdown mode and starting trying to get up, which turns into him slamming his head against my collarbone. THEN, (nope I'm not done yet) He tells me we have to watch the little string of tissue that everyone has attaching their top lip to their gums, but BRODY'S is tight and in between his two front teeth, which unless it moves, will keep his front teeth from coming together and I wanted to look at the dentist and say "Are you f-ing kidding me??? Does it look like my brain can hold anymore things to worry about... I mean do you realize I'm still dealing with a freaking flu pandemic on my brain????"
SO we left, and we got to the car and I cried. Wept, actually because on top of this horrific hour and a half of my life, Ty was teasing Nate because Nate was so scared and Nate was screaming back at him, and it had been 3 hours since I fed Keira and my boobs hurt (sorry dad) and I had just had enough.
I want to call it quits for the day and start over, and need to find another pediatric dentist to look at Nate so I can get a second opinion (and a babysitter to watch the others so I can really focus on what I am being told.)
I am beyond overwhelmed for the day, and have lost my ability to handle anything else today. Brody is now taking all of my tupperware out and throwing it on the floor in a devil like way (insert his evil laughter here) to get my attention, and my eyes are again filling with tears, so I'll end this post.

Weekend 9/25-9/27

Nate's birthday weekend was busy as usual, but full of fun. Friday I went to his school with cupcakes and we sang happy birthday to him. He was very excited! We had lots of random errands, along with a 330 football practice Saturday, but we managed to make it fun and celebrated Nate's actual birthday.
On a side note, I am not putting Brody in the stroller anymore for errands/short trips (like the half hour or so we were at the football field.) I am trying to "train" him to be able to listen and stay close, and walk while holding my hand. It will make these little short errands so much easier in the long run for me if Brody is able to walk. Plus, although I don't judge others who choose to do this, but I am not one who likes my older kids in strollers. I think they should get the exercise from walking, and don't like them relying on being pushed around. I don't necessarily think it's babying the older kids, but maybe a mild form of it... again, just my opinion!
Sunday rained ALL day, so I left Brody and Nate at home with Nathan for Ty's football game. I had to bring Keira because she would need to eat during the 2 hours we were at the game. Ty's team won (28-6) AND the rain slowed to a faint sprinkle for most of the game, making it much more bearable. We came home an rearranged the house for the party, since it had to be an inside party. I became very grateful for the people that canceled at that point, because our house was FULL. Nate had such a great time, and I have to say, it is so encouraging to know how many people love Nate. This milestone birthday meant so much to Nathan and I, because of the bleak and worrisome beginning to Nate's life, and having family and friends here to celebrate with us just made it so much more special.
I will upload pictures soon from the party (I promise!)
On another note, Keira went back to the doc's today for her cough, which had become worse. She is now on her first antibiotic for an adenoid infection. Hopefully now things turn the corner.
We have a very busy week, which includes dentist appointments on Wednesday for all the boys! Yes, Brody's first one!!! I am a firm believer in making sure children aren't scared of the dentist, and also believe in making it a fun, exciting experience. My kids love going to the dentist, so hopefully I'm doing something right!!!
Thank you everyone who helped make this weekend everything it deserved to be. Thank you for making my Nate-o so happy and feel so loved. I am so grateful!!!!!!!

Happy 5th Birthday, Baby Nate

Dear Baby Nate,
I know you are not a baby anymore, but you will always be my baby. I know you do not remember your birth into this world, but I will never forget it. You, my dear are a miracle. Every day you have had on this Earth is a gift, and I am so aware of that. I can remember the nurses saying they saw the meconium and your dad saying "Oh, it's a punk rock baby" (this was because your hair was green.) I can remember the fear when they instantly brought you behind a curtain, and realizing there were ten more doctors in the room than previous. I can still feel the anxiety of not hearing that precious first cry. You were brought to me after what seemed like hours, but was really only a few minutes, and this new doctor told me to "hug your baby and give him a kiss." You briefly opened your eyes and looked at me and I instantly fell in love with you, and felt such a strong sense of fight in myself for you. The doctor returned a few minutes later and asked everyone to leave the room so he could speak with your dad and me. His exact words were, "You have a very sick baby" and then went on to describe the damage caused by the meconium aspiration and that an abulence was on the way to take you to a different hospital. My heart broke into a million pieces. I felt so helpless in that moment. The only thing I could do was will you to survive and try to send you my love and find the stregth to find confidence in the hands that would heal you. It is amazing to me still that in a few short minutes I could feel an indescribable bond to you. I saw you briefly one more time when we were told about your ambulence ride and what would occur at Children's. The doctors took polaroid pictures of you for me to look at. Daddy rode with you to the hospital, in what he will say was the scariest ride of his life. He stayed with you until it was very late, and came back to me with pictures of you and told me everything that was happening. You had your own room in the NICU, and I discharged myself bright and early in the morning to stay be with you.
Nate, you were, and are, such a fighter. You only got better, never failing, and when you looked at me, I had an innate sense that you were the one reassuring me that things would be okay. You eventually were transferred back to Winchester, where you were born to stay another week and finish your medicine. When we brought you home, it was like you were a glass egg, tiny, breakable, and yet put in our care. I was so worried about you, but you, being the strong boy you are, always pushed forward, never letting any obstacle stand in your way. You went through your rough patch, not gaining weight, pneumonia every month or so, tested for every disease and condition under the sun, but again, you remained SO STRONG. I couldn't help but gain strength from you.
Now here you are, turning five years old. One year away from kindergarten, and you know all your letters, how to write, and just starting to read. I watch you ride your bike, and play sports, and dance, always full of life. I never fail to see that poor, sick, sweet baby boy with all those tubes and bells and whistles. I am without words to tell you how much my heart swells to know how ALIVE and WONDERFUL you are.
Nate you are truly one of a kind. You love to tell us jokes at the dinner table, and perform skits and dances, you warm our hearts with your loving words and giant hugs. You constantly tell us how much you love us, and we feel that love, Nate.
I am so proud of you. You are meant to be. You have been through so much in your life. There is no doubt in my mind that you can accomplish whatever you set out to do in this life. You are kind, thoughtful, witty, strong and genuine. I love you so very much my sweet baby Nate.

Uh Oh

For those who think I may exaggerate on how much laundry I do, here's what the SEARS repair man told me today. He said "You must do a whole lot of laundry, because I don't see that much wear and tear unless the dryer is about 5 or 6 years old."
Reference point, our dryer is not even two years old.
Does this mean we will be buying a new unit every two years? Crap.

More Whining

I may have mentioned a time or two or three how busy we are, but unless you see me running in and out of my house carrying a carseat, a toddler, birthday gifts, extra diapers, snacks for the car, etc ALL DAY/EVENING, then I don't think you'd really get it. We have been to 4 birthday parties in less than a week, along with countless trips to other towns, football practice/games, basketball registration, preschool orientation, flu shot appointments, and oh yeah, for added fun, Brody has a double ear infection and bronchitis caused by his never ending allergies. (He is on medication.) Did I forget to mention Keira is teething up a storm, and has been randomly running fevers? (All my kids run fevers when they are teething.) Oh yeah, and my head feels like it's been hit with a hammer about a dozen times due to the ridiculous cold that is building up and will one day soon be let loose. Wait, I also forgot to mention that I am supposed to be planning Nate's birthday party for this weekend, and I have yet to get a final head count (one of my biggest pet peeves in the world.)
So here I sit, cranky, sleep deprived (Brody and Keira are taking turns being awake, and if I said I was getting 2 hours of sleep a night, I'd be making an understatement) waiting to take Ty to football practice, make dinner, prepare for Nate's first day of preschool tomorrow, and all I want to do is whine and cry because damnit I am freaking EXHAUSTED and would like this all to stop so I can climb in bed/on my couch/face plant on the nearest surface and PASS OUT.
Three times this past week I have completely forgotten to eat. I was doing dishes Sunday and had to sit on the floor until my head stopped spinning and my eyes could focus. This can not be healthy.
Not to whine and complain even more, but my dryer, in hopes of sending me over the edge, decided to stop working last weekend, and clothes are piling up at an alarming rate.
Pray for me.
I fear you may have to write to the warden at the nearest mental hospital if our lives don't slow down soon. You will find me in the padded room, mumbling about some list of things I forgot to do.

Paranoia

I got the notice I've been dreading. A girl was confirmed with the flu in 1st grade at Ty's school. Since seasonal flu is not usually seen until DECEMBER (hint hint to those who may be in denial that it is probably not that flu), they are pretty positive it is H1N1. Eight children were absent from ONE classroom yesterday with ILS (flu like symptoms) and personally, I am ready for the school to be closed and cleaned.
Here is my major issue. Why, please God tell me why people send their children to school sick? And why do adults go out sick? Do you realize that WE can make this the best or worse case scenario by our choices??? Not to sound harsh, but DO NOT ACT SO STUPIDLY!!! Stay the hell home!! No one will thank you for giving them this. Here's a tip, if you are achey, if you have a sore throat, cough, cold, you should be tested for the goddamn flu!
And that concludes my rant of the morning.

Math is Fun?!?!

Wednesday night was "Back to School" night at Ty's school, and as I shuffled into the classroom, and wandered around to find Ty's desk (Keira in tow) I was amazed at the difference a year makes. No longer was the classroom more of a fun room, a play space with learning added in, it was now an official classroom, overhead projector included. My son's desk is smack in the middle of a "U" shaped ring of desks, dead center. No room to goof off was my first thought. My second was what an abnormally clean desk he had, but that's a whole other story. Ty's teacher is young, super nice, and genuinely enthusiastic about teaching and inspiring the kids to love learning. I could not ask for more. As she went through the school year curriculum she paused at math for quite a while. This year the kids jump from addition and subtraction into multiplication and division. She warned us that this leap comes on suddenly in the text book program the school follows (EVERYDAY MATHEMATICS) and we should begin to practice at home.
My first thought was to immediately put in a call to my dear friend, and Ty's Godmother, April. April is a math whiz, and has taught the subject in Mexico, a prestigious Jewish private school in NYC, and now is getting her doctorate at Stanford University. Ty will also have to have 20 minutes of math review Monday through Thursday night, but it can be in any form that works. This is where I need April's help. How do you make math fun? April, gave me a great website called carrotsticks. It incorporates addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Kids can choose to go to harder levels, and they can even play against other kids. It is very easy to maneuver through. Ty LOVED it. Thank you April!!! So now I share this wealth. Parents, let your kids use this website! It is fantastic!!! Ty said "I never knew math could be this fun."
Ah, he'd make his Godmother proud!

Sleep? What's That?!?!

I have no recollection of what uninterrupted sleep is like. None, whatsoever!!
I think my brain is fried with all of our jam packed schedules, that seem to be getting busier and busier as the days pass. The left side of my body is now completely incapacitated. No seriously. I fell Sunday when running back in the house (because of course I forgot something) and I fell face first on the steps, skinning my entire shin, giving myself a scraped, swollen knee, a hurt shoulder, and well, I also hit my boob pretty hard, and that hurts too. Yesterday I whacked my elbow as hard as anyone could, of course on my left side, and now that is bruised and swollen as well. Have I mentioned I also have a stiff neck. Which side does it hurt on? The left!!!
Ugh. I'm a clutz. I blame my increasingly diminished sleep supply.

One is Not Enough

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Tips

When getting a family photo, or just one of your child I have some tips... take them if you'd like. Here is what I have learned:

• Feed your kids before you go. it does not matter what time of day, give the kid(s) some food. This ensures a full belly, and less of a chance of a meltdown. Pack some low-mid level sugar food that is not super messy (fruit is best) for the car ride. Say what you want, but sugar/sweet food = happy child. Bribery does wonders sometimes. Save some food for after the photo session, before/during the time when you look at the pictures.
  
• If at all possible, make sure the child naps before the photo session. Trust me, a tired child is a cranky, uncooperative child.

• BRING THE CLOTHES. You can clean your child, put them in nice, perfect clothes, but chances are, some time between leaving the house and getting the pictures taken, they will get SOMETHING on them. Wait until the last moment to get them dressed/cleaned. An extra change of clothes is always smart.

• Bring wipes! For the above mentioned likeliness of an accident/ boogey nose, magic marker you never knew was in your car that your child has now used to draw hearts and stars and their name all over their face and arm... you know. Just bring them. 'Nuff said.

• Bring a toy to make your child happy/keep them entertained when looking at the pictures. You don't want to have a child having a meltdown when you are deciding which picture to spend $87 on, so you rush and just say "I want that one", only to finally get it and realize one child is picking their nose while the other is giving quazimoto a run for his money with their expression. Make your kid happy at all costs.

• Please for the love of God, make your family's wardrobe somewhat cohesive, so it doesn't look like you paid people off from the street to jump into the shot. I don't mean you all have to wear the same thing, but a nice color scheme, or general likeness to each other is a good thing. Also, try to avoid fad clothing at all costs.

We had our "family photo" taken at a new studio called Portrait Innovations in Saugus. If you are local, GO!!! For $9.95 you get an unbelievable deal. They cater to kids. The workers let the boys run around and play when they weren't taking a picture, and would bring them back to us when it was time for them. It is open and colorful. They did lots of poses, lots of pictures in general. In the end, they are big sellers, meaning they will keep trying to sell you on lots of photos, but we just had to keep saying no. The best part? The prints are ready 10-15 minutes after we placed the order. I highly recommend them!

Joy

Last night Keira had gas pains, and as it is with children, as soon as I got her back to sleep, Brody made his way in (he is definitely suffering from night terrors) so I was up again, and this in turn woke Keira up again. Long story short, I got about two hours of collective sleep before a busy rush of a weekend. To top it off I have a horrible stiff neck from nodding off in odd positions sandwiched between Brody and Keira.
Here's where it gets good though. I got up around 615, and came down with Keira for our special play time. This is one of the only times it's just her and I, until the boys wake up, (as I am writing this at 8:46am, Nate and Brody are still sleeping) and I cherish this alone time with her. I can not even remember the grogginess and can't feel the exhaustion because the smiles and laughs and hugs and kisses from that sweet baby girl are so worth it. This morning, after we got Ty ready for school and on the bus, Keira and I listened to Disney music and show tunes, and she squealed with delight at each new song. This girl loves her music!
I just got her down for what I'm hoping will be a long nap, and am anticipating the busy day. I couldn't be in a better mood though. Babies are just too heart warming.

Weekend Photos

We had a fun long weekend, thank you for everyone who included us in their cookouts!!!
It was a great way to say goodbye to summer.

Milestone Marker

Keira decided yesterday she would sit up. I have not really pushed this, but she was apparently ready. She sat almost all day, and only fell back two or three times ALL DAY. She leaned forward to play with toys, then sat back up, and even leaned to the side and caught herself and pushed back up.
I'm sad. My baby's growing up. Amazing what can change in one day.

Mother of the Year

*Warning I will be descriptive.*

Last night when I was getting Keira to bed, while also convincing the older two boys not to tackle in the house and telling them to brush their teeth and get in their jammies, all while talking over the Red Sox game that was turned up too loud but I couldn't find the remote to turn it down, oh and while cooking rice and veggies while Nathan was outside grilling, AND while calling for Brody, who escapes upstairs to climb on top of the boys bunk bed every chance he gets, so while two of my sixteen arms were working on the changing the baby's diaper my eyes noticed her bum looked a tad red, so it told the other parts of my brain who were focused on the previously mentioned stuff, and told my other sets of eyes that they all had to focus on Keira's butt and examine it to see if it was the start of a diaper rash. The consensus of my mind was it looked okay, but it wouldn't hurt to putt some diaper rash ointment on it just to play it safe. All in agreement, say "I" and my mind broke, my other eyes, started searching for the boys, checking on the time, trying to decide how much longer for the food, etc. My girlfriends had given me a package of butt paste, that I hadn't needed yet, so I opened the package, distracted by the cute logo (ingenious marketing idea), because when you are able to be a mother and separate your mind like this, you are easily distracted. I put a tiny bit on, put her diaper on and then STOP. What is that NOISE? What is THAT? All senses are now focused on my baby girl who is SHRIEKING and flailing her arms, in a clearly pained version of trying to flap her wings and fly away. I picked her up and she is red faced, tears flowing, stiff as a board, besides her horrible flying attempt, and when she is able to get sound out (yes at times crying so hard that no sound came out... you know that cry) it was a scream. WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
Then my mind focused. Butt Paste. Damn you Butt Paste. All of my contributing mind parts were talking at once, "Maybe you got some in her OTHER area", "Maybe it migrated when you putt the diaper on", "Maybe she's not a boy and you should have thought of this as a possibility!"
Ugh.
I took her diaper off, she seemed to be ten shades redder than before. Crap. I tried using a wipe to get it off. Well, lets just say this sent her into an even more frantic tirade than before, and had I known that was EVEN POSSIBLE I would have gone another route. The only thing that calmed her down was holding a warm washcloth like a diaper on her and rocking her.
Yes, mother of the year right here.

Whine

Would like to know how so many moms get to go out at night??? Is it not enough that my mom friends with older kids can go out, but now mom friends with babies too? Ok, not to throw a pity party, but I'm not ready to leave my babies for more than two hours or so for the first hmmm... 6 months or maybe year, and if I do, I am more concerned with the baby then having fun. But when oh when did it become easy for moms to go out sans baby? I now feel insecure that I am more attached to my babies than normal. Ugh.

Chubby Legs

Nathan's mom got Keira the most adorable little slippers... we couldn't resist a photo shoot.

Some New Pictures

Keira was super happy playing on her mat. Her expression makes me laugh.



A few pictures from Breakheart. brody feeding the duck, and a cute one of Nate.
random picture of the two of us... I look terrible, but I love her face in this.


Keira's first and only time trying cereal... we'll wait another month before we try again.


Playing with Keira in her new exersaucer
Ty's first day of THIRD grade!