Days 36 and 37

After a very emotional, and tough couple of days, Nathan and I made the decision to stay in on Sunday. We had been going non stop, trucking the kids from place to place, and we were due for some much needed time together.
I'm glad we did that. It was a good choice. Sometimes there is nothing better than staying in the house, and being together to regroup.

With the short school week, the kids had no problem getting going for school on Monday (thankfully), and I was able to get a good amount of housework done.

I wish I could say there was something more exciting that happened. There wasn't. I have been utterly exhausted. I have been emotionally eating my heart out. I have been super sensitive. I have my period. (Sorry Dad.)

With my own craziness aside, I am so grateful for all of the help we had this weekend with the children. To those who helped out, you know who you are, your selflessness and courage (because it takes one courageous person to step up to watching all of my kids) means so very much to me. To not have to worry about how they were doing during the services is worth its weight in gold.
Thank you.

To the family and friends who were so supportive, offering kind words, condolences, sending cards, and special gifts, thank you. Support is crucial, and I am blown away by the love and kindness that came our way.
To the few who called and checked in this whole time, to you brave women who spent countless time through the past six weeks being everything a friend could and should be and more, for being my shoulder to cry on, to you I want to say, I will never forget this.
Seeing Sharon's best friends, watching them take part in her funeral service, was one of the most touching things I witnessed. I watched her friends prepare her house, step up to be the hostesses in their friend's absence, and clean everything so Bob wouldn't have to worry about any of it. I couldn't help but think of my friends the whole time I observed them. My heart ached for them, for their loss of a best friend. SO again, to my friends, who were so supportive this whole time, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Day 4

I stayed in my sweatpants until 11:15 today. Said sweatpants got put on around 8:30 last night. I also did not dress Keira until the same time. Brody, who insists on stripping down and picking out clothes the instant his eyes blink open, was dressed. So were Ty and Nate, because they went to school, and I'm not that much of a neglectful mother.
In my defense, when Brody was getting dressed, I asked Keira if she wanted to get dressed too, to which she rapidly shook her head back and forth and yelled

"Noooooooooo"

So I listened to her.

Who wouldn't listen to an 18 month old who sat next to me after the kids got on the bus and watched Teen Mom, clapping when the audience clapped, and seemed as thoroughly engaged as I was.

And speaking of Teen Mom, I am really happy Maci and Kyle are back together. I also am glad Ryan was so cool about the whole situation.

And can some one puh-leeeeze tell me how it is acceptable for Amber to still have custody of poor Leah? I'm not one to feel strongly about a baby not being with her momma, but really? Come on.

So we sat in our p.j.s/sweatpants, until I knew Nate was coming home from school and I would need to venture into the world, but I feel no guilt for that. I, in fact, got a surprisingly large amount of housework done today, given that fact that I lounged all morning.

But I enjoyed it. I needed it. Keira enjoyed it too. Brody was just happy I built him a really cool track for his trains this morning.

As I mentioned, I got a lot done today, and that always makes me feel great. I also made a mean baked mac and cheese using Colby, Cheddar, and Fontina cheese. I threw in some onions and layered the top with fresh sliced tomato and cheese.

We had my nephews and brother in law's girlfriend over this afternoon/evening, and I made mummy dogs for the kids and served them up with my so-good-I-ate-two-bowls but-don't-care-because-I'll-run-it-off-tomorrow mac and cheese.

I am grateful for my time with them. I am grateful for my kids. I am grateful for extended family that are also friends (that is big.) I am grateful for comforting words and phone calls to check in. I am grateful for friends. I am grateful for family. I am grateful for sweatpants. I am especially grateful to my mom, who has gotten approximately 37 phone calls a day from me the past few weeks. Thanks mom.
Day four, I'm out!

Thank You

I will be doing a detailed post about Keira's first birthday party soon, but for now I will say thank you.
Thank you Mother Nature for shining down on us and breaking the birthday-party-downpour-curse.
Thank you Sarah for sending delicious cookies to send everyone home with. They looked as amazing as they tasted.
Thank you Amiee for designing a gorgeous birthday banner that made me smile every time I looked at it.
Thank you Stephanie for coming to take photographs. I anxiously anticipate seeing the memories and moments you captured.
Thank you Victoria for the beautiful dress Keira wore. You are everything we could have asked for and more being Keira's Godmother. She is so lucky to have you as such an intricate part of her life.
And thank you to family and dear friends. You made this day special. You made it filled with love and smiles and laughter. Thank you for your generosity. Thank you for spending your afternoon with us. Thank you for making beautiful wishes for her. Thank you for celebrating the birth of my sweet Keira.

Weekend 9/25-9/27

Nate's birthday weekend was busy as usual, but full of fun. Friday I went to his school with cupcakes and we sang happy birthday to him. He was very excited! We had lots of random errands, along with a 330 football practice Saturday, but we managed to make it fun and celebrated Nate's actual birthday.
On a side note, I am not putting Brody in the stroller anymore for errands/short trips (like the half hour or so we were at the football field.) I am trying to "train" him to be able to listen and stay close, and walk while holding my hand. It will make these little short errands so much easier in the long run for me if Brody is able to walk. Plus, although I don't judge others who choose to do this, but I am not one who likes my older kids in strollers. I think they should get the exercise from walking, and don't like them relying on being pushed around. I don't necessarily think it's babying the older kids, but maybe a mild form of it... again, just my opinion!
Sunday rained ALL day, so I left Brody and Nate at home with Nathan for Ty's football game. I had to bring Keira because she would need to eat during the 2 hours we were at the game. Ty's team won (28-6) AND the rain slowed to a faint sprinkle for most of the game, making it much more bearable. We came home an rearranged the house for the party, since it had to be an inside party. I became very grateful for the people that canceled at that point, because our house was FULL. Nate had such a great time, and I have to say, it is so encouraging to know how many people love Nate. This milestone birthday meant so much to Nathan and I, because of the bleak and worrisome beginning to Nate's life, and having family and friends here to celebrate with us just made it so much more special.
I will upload pictures soon from the party (I promise!)
On another note, Keira went back to the doc's today for her cough, which had become worse. She is now on her first antibiotic for an adenoid infection. Hopefully now things turn the corner.
We have a very busy week, which includes dentist appointments on Wednesday for all the boys! Yes, Brody's first one!!! I am a firm believer in making sure children aren't scared of the dentist, and also believe in making it a fun, exciting experience. My kids love going to the dentist, so hopefully I'm doing something right!!!
Thank you everyone who helped make this weekend everything it deserved to be. Thank you for making my Nate-o so happy and feel so loved. I am so grateful!!!!!!!

Day 5 1/2

~Poop. My life revolves around poop.
~I am so grateful for understanding, generous friends. THANK YOU.
~Adult interaction, even if it consists of talking about babies and kids, is a relief.
~Despite feeling more awake today than any other thus far, I am now at 3pm, ready for bed. Can someone please explain this to the sun and moon, and my kids?
~I want to enjoy the sun.