Where the Time Goes

Times flies. It is hard to grasp that it was ten years ago that I graduated high school, a little over eight years ago that I had Ty, and now already six months since I've had Keira. With all of the chaos and day to day activities it is pretty amazing when you stop to take a minute and realize that the little baby is now a boy almost as tall as you, and that yearning for freedom and self discovery has crept back in, but for completely different reasons. Where does the time go? There are so many moments that we want to forget, there is always something to look forward to, something you want to move past. It can be frightening to realize that in the rush and excitement you forgot to stop, even for a second, and just enjoy the now.
I find myself looking forward to my regaining of independence, if you will, when my kids are self sufficiant, and I'm not worrying if they will torture a babysitter, or go through separation anxiety. I am excited to say "let's go to a movie" and for us all to be able to go together, and not have to worry about attention spans, or supervised bathroom breaks. I day dream about the girlfriends and boyfriends my children will have, grandchildren, and what careers my kids will choose, and paths their lives will take.
When the days are rough, these are the things my mind goes to to stay sane. I think of the benefits of all the toil and hard work that these years now will sow. And yet, in actuality, when these far off things I dream of arrive, it is inevitable that I will be wishing I had the time back. I will want to be back here, in the now, when Ty still needs me to help him put his football gear on, and still waves to me from the field. I will wish that Nate still wanted to do his "super cleans" and let me help him brush his hair in the morning, and pick out his clothes before school. I will yearn to hear Brody's sweet, little voice, see his monkey and elephant imitations and get excited with him over his ability to say a new word. I will miss Keira smiles that are just for me, her early morning snuggles, and all of the wonder of what her life will hold.
It is important to remember that these moments, right now, the every day moments, these are moments to keep close to my heart, because time is gone all too quickly.