Day 55

Oh today, day 55, was a milestone day for me.  Today I grabbed the bull by the horns, made my own luck, grabbed life by the balls, however you want to say it, I did it.


I have always had this irrational fear of the unknown, of asking for what I want, or putting myself out there, when I may look silly.  Maybe it's not a fear that only I have?  Maybe some of you (I hope!) share this same fear.

My mom always tells me, what is the worst that can happen?  You're told no.  Then at least you tried.

And that makes sense, that is what I will tell my children when they are faced with these kind of decisions, but telling myself that, and practicing what I intend to preach, well that is a horse of a different color. (side note- I am just full of these analogies tonight, huh?) 

I was sent a side (a part of a script focusing on one character, used to audition with) to read for a movie filming next month, a movie that I loved as soon as I started reading.  This was for a "dancer" please don't make me spell that one out for you, it was interesting, and I knew I could do a great job with it.  However, when I started reading some of the other sides, trying to gain a better feel for the movie, I was stopped dead in my tracks because I absolutely clicked with a different character.  I can't explain why, there was nothing spectacular or different, but yet to me, there was something. 

I read her lines aloud, intsead of in my head, a first clue that it was something special to me.

But how do you ask to read for a role?  It seemed unprofessional to me, and awkward.  It's not like I'm calling Stephanie Meyers and saying "hey, I really think I would make a great vampire.  I'm thinking I should have a chance to audition for a Denali Clan vamp."

I would be looked at like I was crazy.  I would probably be put on some stalker list and would never even get let into the theaters to see Breaking Dawn.

Yet here I was today, desperate for a chance to read for this role and no one asking me to.

So I sucked up my pride, and I called my agency.  I sounded ridiculous and spilled my guts about how badly I wanted this role.  I believe I said I could "nail it, knock it out of the park".

I went for it.

And do you know what came out of it??

An audition.

I faced my fears and now I will have a chance to read for a role I want more than I can say.

Thank you day 55 for teaching me to overcome my fears.

Thank you to the angles on my shoulders helping me through this one... please don't leave me yet!  I'll need all the help I can get to wow all the big wigs ;)