Thursday

"Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder. and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be."
Carrie Fisher

Good morning!
I have recovered since my last desperate post. I took a solid three hour nap that day, skipped Brody's storytime, and thankfully Nathan ran a few errands for me before he left for work. We got even more snow Tuesday (fun, fun, fun) and while I was out doing a few things, my driver's side windshield wiper decided to rebel against being used so much and broke. It wasn't the whole arm, just the easily replaceable part, but not what you want to happen in the middle of a snowstorm with all the kids in the car. I managed though, and it didn't effect my driving since the car was warm and melted the snow right away... thank God. I actually put effort into cooking a nice dinner that night, but got struck with a horrible wave of nausea mid-cooking. I had to quickly sit and have Ty turn down the burners on the stove (I was making a sauce and cooking chicken) and have Nate get me a big glass of water which I alternately drank and held up to my forehead. When I regained strength, I quickly finished up, got everything in the oven and ran to the couch with my trusty cold glass of water. Again, Nathan has been working late this week, so it has been a challenge to say the least, being this exhausted and trying to deal with dinner and homework and the inevitable bedtime arguments. I am alive and writing this now, so I have survived, but it hasn't been fun.

Yesterday we went to Nate's storytime, and Brody all but passed out on my lap that hour. I think the exhaustion is getting to him too. When Ty came home (half day Wednesdays) he finished up his homework and we worked on his school project. I then realized it was WAY past Brody's nap time and we went upstairs and I put a movie on for the boys and we took a quick nap (only an hour) before starting the evening routine all over again. I'm not sure if it is just my kids, but as you may have picked up on reading this, evening is the absolute hardest time in our day. Last night was made more difficult because I got a call from my mom telling me my brother was in the hospital and was being taken in for a cat scan, something had happened at hockey. I only got bits and pieces here and there because every time she got a chance to call me, a doctor would come in and she'd have to go again. He is okay, thankfully, and although they detected a genetic abnormality with two discs at the base of his neck, he ended up with severe whiplash. It makes me very happy that my kids will not ever play hockey.

In other news, I feel more and more pregnant and ready to have this baby. I am sorry to be such a "Debbie Downer" to all of you who love being pregnant, but I can not at this point enjoy any aspects of pregnancy. I want to bend again (I guarantee I think hateful thoughts when I see someone bending at the waist), I want to not have to put effort into turning from one side to the other at night, or wake up to go to the bathroom so often at night. I fell asleep at a decent time last night, but woke up around 1am angry. I have no idea why, I couldn't put it into words, but I was very angry. Maybe I had some sort of bad dream that I do not recall. It was strange. My restless leg syndrome (which I seem to get only towards the end) has kicked into high gear. I am tired all the time, and am STILL getting sick! I know they say getting nausea is a good sign, but almost 32 weeks into it, I think I've had my fair share. I have made up for my mostly lack of nausea from my previous pregnancies. I keep telling myself, just 4 1/2 more weeks and it could be any day. God, please let it be earlier than later... for my sake, and for all who have to deal with me.

I hope you are all having a great week and thank you for reading my rants. I am looking forward to a brief warm up this weekend so I can go for a few walks around the lake and release some stress.