A Promise

Today has been an emotional day in my family. It has caused me to do a lot of thinking. Thinking that makes me take a good hard look at myself. Thinking that makes me take a good look at my own goals, at my footprint on this world, and on my relationships with those around me.
I can't say the cause of all this thinking was something great, because it wasn't. It is something extremely difficult and sad and it is not something I am going to go into on here.
Here is what I will say though, I will tell you again how much today's occurrences have made me look inward and contemplate life. I guess here is what is weighing heavily on not just my heart, but deep into my soul; no one knows how long they have on this Earth, with those you love. For some it is all over in the blink of an eye, without warning. For some life is long and well lived. For some, you are given a time frame. What would you do in that time frame? What would I do, if tomorrow I was given a year to live?
It makes me question the days I have already had. Most people don't know what days are their "last days" if you will. Would I be satisfied if it all ended for me next week? Or would I wish I had played outside with the kids a little bit longer, or read that story one more time, or made more of an effort to go out with Nathan, or spent more time with family.
It is a lot to take in. It is hard to look at yourself that way, and to wonder if you made the most out of your time given. Let me level with you here, even writing this, now, is difficult for me, and I would be lying if I told you I wasn't choked up.
So here it is. My promise to myself. My promise for you to hold me to, to keep me accountable to.
I am going to live each day. No exceptions. I am going to do the things I want to do, and experience all there is to experience. I am going to make sure that I do not take advantage of my time on Earth. For one year, one solid year, I will keep track of that here. It has been said anything can become a habit in 3 weeks. Well I certainly hope 52 weeks will not be a habit, but a life changing event that rocks me to my core. I promise to be grateful for each and every second. I know that life is not all puppy dogs and rainbows, and I am well aware that some days are going to be harder than others to get motivated and soak up life. There is too much for me to learn and so much growing I have to do, so many more memories to make, so much more to experience. I want my children to be filled with memories and feelings and stories to pass on to their children some day. I want to know I made the most of this life, and my time. I want to make an impact, and leave a lasting footprint.
So for tonight I will reflect some more, because it is okay to be sad, and I am sad right now, but I am going to let that sadness be the catalyst for this next journey I will begin. Tomorrow I will wake up with new eyes, and that fire in my core burning a bit stronger.